Removing the armor: art, the fat body and vulnerability

ABSTRACT

It feels transgressive to reveal what I am most scared to reveal, to share stories, vulnerability and sometimes “dirty laundry” in my writing. It can open me up to potential attack. But a few years ago, I realized that it was still safer for me to express my fat activism in written form. I made the decision to move from fat activism driven by writing, to include activism that explores fat embodiment through representation of my body in shibari (Japanese rope) performance, photography and visual art. I am now taking it a step further to reflect on the representation of my fat body in art. In this autoethnographic piece, I find that I have an ability to frame how a story is told, where to expose and reveal my body in ways that challenge what fat bodies are capable of doing, or how they “should” be visually represented, is a more vulnerable position for me as a fat activist. Self-protection and self-preservation would dictate that I keep myself hidden away. Revealing myself and my body, and becoming vulnerable by doing so, takes courage. It means putting aside the instincts of self-protection, to reveal aspects of myself so that others either see themselves reflected in my body, and take strength and courage from that, or are exposed to a representation of a fat body they wouldn’t normally be exposed to. This article includes, and discusses, visual art with my body as the subject, from an Australian artist and two photographers.

KEYWORDS:

• Fat
• fat activism
• fat art
• fat photography
• shibari
• rope
• kink
• autoethnography

Acknowledgments

Thank you to Cat Pausé, PhD, for organizing the 2020 international online fat studies conference where this article was presented in an earlier form, and received valuable feedback from fellow delegates. I also greatly appreciate the artists who created the images that are discussed in this article. I will never forget the artists’ willingness to work in such a vulnerable, and at times painful, space. The artists are named throughout the essay, in their preferred manner. Thank you also to my partner in shibari and life, for his amazing technical skills, for the art he makes with rope, and for his acceptance of all my emotions.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Jennifer Lee

Jennifer Lee, PhD, is an Australian fat, cisgender queer writer and scholar. In addition to publishing scholarly articles, she publishes memoir, short stories, essays and narrative nonfiction. She is writing a nonfiction book about fat in Australia. Her recent publications include, “Reclaiming voices from stigma: Fat autoethnography as a consciously political act,” with Emily McAvan in the Routledge International Handbook of Fat Studies (2021) and “’You will face discrimination’: Fatness, motherhood, and the medical profession,” in the Fat Studies Journal (2020).