‘This broken heart’. Frances Tustin’s ‘original agony’ and its transformation: from encapsulation, through heartbreak, to liveliness and hope

ABSTRACT

Our separateness from the other is the ‘basic agony’, the ‘original heartbreak’ of the human condition, according to Frances Tustin’s thinking. The ways we deal with this heartbreak form the foundation through which relationships, self-experience and wellbeing are built and developed. The following paper describes a child’s journey, from omnipotent encapsulation, through the extremes of heartbreak – the child’s, as well as his parents’ and the therapist’s – to liveliness and hope. Tustin teaches us the meaning and experience of encapsulation, the delicate balance between ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ needed in the therapeutic stance, the extremes of despair, hurt, cruelty and heartbreak that are met with along the way, as well as the possibility of hope even in dire situations. Holding on, survival and faith, as well as hope-against-hope, which is the resistance to despair in situations of hopelessness, are needed in order for this broken heart to be somewhat mended and allowed to flourish and to grow.

KEYWORDS:

• Child psychotherapy
• elopement
• hope
• autism
• Tustin
• Alvarez

Acknowledgments

I wish to thank ‘Tamuz’ and his parents for their faith and steadfastness, as well as for all that I’ve learned along the way. Although ‘Tamuz’ struggles still with many challenges, his relationship with his parents is nowadays filled with love, warmth, trust and respect.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1. ‘Tamuz’ is a pseudonym, and I have changed all identifying material in this paper. His parents have read this manuscript and generously gave their permission for publication.

2. The common usage of the word ‘elopement’ usually refers to running away secretly, especially to get married without parental consent. In autism research literature this word is used differently, referring to a child’s running away from adult’s supervision.

3. The first time tea was made, Tamuz came to session ill and miserable. It was so natural that I find it hard to recall whether it was me or him that first initiated the tea making. Later, Tamuz began asking for tea when arriving to sessions. I believe tea embodied concretely his nascent ability to sense some possibility of receiving something good from me, not yet possible through more symbolic means.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Yonit Shulman

Yonit Shulman is a senior clinical psychologist and supervisor, and head of psychology at OTI – the Israeli Autism Association; academic co-director of the Child & Adolescent Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Program, Advanced Studies, School for Social Work, Tel- Aviv University and Bar-Ilan University. Formerly head of the child and adolescent section of the Israeli Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Association. She also works in private practice.