Facilitation and Interference from Partners During the Transition to Parenthood: A Co-Occurrence Analysis of Themes Emerging Over Time within and Between Romantic Partners

ABSTRACT

Drawing on foundational assumptions of relational turbulence theory, this study identified the ways romantic partners facilitate or interfere with individual goals and routines during the transition to parenthood and analyzed how categories of facilitation and interference co-occur within individuals and between partners over time. A thematic analysis of data from a longitudinal study of 78 couples at four points during the transition to parenthood revealed four themes of partner facilitation and five themes of partner interference. Then, results of a thematic co-occurrence analysis identified 13 patterns between and across themes of interference and facilitation within individuals and between relational partners. Finally, the themes were evaluated across waves to identify patterns of change in the sources of partner facilitation and interference over time. The findings offer theoretical and methodological advancements and point to supportive strategies for successfully navigating the transition to parenthood.

Although becoming a parent can be an exciting and transformative experience (Nelson et al., 2013), many couples are unprepared for the changes to their relationship that emerge after having a child. During the transition to parenthood, spouses adopt new roles and task responsibilities, reorganize the division of housework, negotiate issues regarding childrearing, and renegotiate existing boundaries (Rauch-Anderegg et al., 2020). Whereas some couples are successful at adapting their routines and establishing coordinated patterns of behavior, the new responsibilities associated with the birth of a first child can interfere with the personal goals, routines, and actions that partners enjoyed prior to becoming parents (Durtschi et al., 2016). Understanding how romantic partners exert influence on one another in their relationship can illuminate the ways they facilitate or disrupt interpersonal routines during this transition.

Relational turbulence theory provides a logical foundation for exploring the positive and negative manifestations of partner influence in romantic relationships (Solomon et al., 2016). The theory identifies features of relational involvement that are heightened during relationship transitions and intensify reactions to relationship events. One mechanism in the theory highlights the degree of influence that romantic partners have on one another and argues that individuals can exert influence in ways that either facilitate or interfere with personal goals (Knobloch & Solomon, 2004). Although tests of relational turbulence theory typically focus on associations between global perceptions of partner interference and the intensity of people’s reactions to relationship circumstances (e.g., Harvey-Knowles & Faw, 2016; Scott & Stafford, 2018), fewer studies have considered how the specific conditions of particular relationship transitions can give rise to unique sources of partner facilitation or interference (e.g., Dorrance-Hall et al., 2023; Theiss et al., 2016). The transition to parenthood marks a transformative moment in romantic relationships that requires partners to adapt their patterns of behavior. In this context, a romantic partner’s influence can make it easier to accomplish personal goals and routines or prove to be disruptive to desired actions and outcomes. Accordingly, in this study we identify sources of partner facilitation and interference during the transition to parenthood. Moreover, we extend theory by considering how sources of facilitation and interference from partners are interrelated and co-occur within and between partners over the course of this transition.

This study advances the literature on relational turbulence theory by examining the transition to parenthood as a context where partners’ influence may be particularly salient. Beyond identifying sources of partner facilitation and interference during this transition, this study extends theorizing on partner influence in romantic relationships by documenting patterns of co-occurrence across themes, between partners, and over time. By bringing the features of partner influence into sharper focus and documenting how facilitative and disruptive sources of influence are interrelated, this study expands the explanatory power of relational turbulence theory. Pragmatically, this study illuminates how having a child can be disruptive to personal and relational routines, while also providing opportunities to reinforce interdependence between partners in response to changing circumstances. Encouraging individuals to anticipate a partner’s influence during the transition to parenthood can prepare them for the inevitable triumphs and setbacks they might encounter as they integrate new routines associated with parenting.

Manifestations of romantic partner influence during the transition to parenthood

Relational turbulence theory proposes that transitions in close relationships are ripe for turmoil because they create periods of discontinuity marked by changes to individual roles and relational routines (Solomon et al., 2016), which create a mismatch between existing relationship norms and new relational circumstances (Solomon & Theiss, 2011). Thus, transitions create opportunities for missteps and discontinuity until partners establish new patterns of relating that are responsive to the new relationship conditions. For first-time parents, the norms, routines, and relational roles that had previously characterized their romantic relationship are no longer functional for dealing with the shifting landscape of caring for a child and integrating new roles and responsibilities in that context. As new parents adjust their actions and behaviors to accommodate these circumstances, some of their efforts will successfully lead to new patterns of coordinated behavior, whereas other actions will be unhelpful, distracting, or disruptive.

The theory identifies two mechanisms that contribute to turbulence during relationship transitions. The first is relational uncertainty, which involves questions or ambiguity about relationship involvement (Knobloch & Solomon, 1999). Relational uncertainty tends to be heightened during transitions because people are unsure how to make sense of new conditions in the relationship (Theiss, 2018). The second mechanism is interdependence between partners. The theory argues that people allow for different levels of influence from a romantic partner as they navigate relationship transitions (Solomon et al., 2016), which creates opportunities for individuals to disrupt or assist their partner’s goals (Knobloch & Solomon, 2004). Facilitation from partners involves actions that would make it easier to accomplish personal goals and perform daily routines (e.g., “Thanks for getting up with the baby last night so that I could get a full night of sleep.”). Interference from partners involves actions that prevent individuals from performing a typical routine or accomplishing personal goals (e.g., “You forgot to pick up diapers. Now I have to make a special trip to the store!”). Although interference from partners is expected to be heightened during the early stages of relationships as partners establish interdependence and reduced as couples develop more coordinated patterns of action over time (Solomon & Knobloch, 2004), empirical evidence suggests that opportunities for partner interference persist at high levels of intimacy, especially during relationship transitions (Brisini et al., 2018). Thus, we isolate interference and facilitation from partners to be the focus of this study because they are understudied mechanisms in relational turbulence theory relative to research on the sources and outcomes of relational uncertainty during transitions, and they are particularly salient experiences for individuals navigating the transition to parenthood.

Research on the transition to parenthood tends to emphasize how the birth of a child is disruptive to intimacy, connection, and communication between romantic partners (e.g., Kluwer, 2010), but a partner’s influence can be beneficial in this context to the extent that it helps individuals facilitate personal, relational, or parental goals. During the transition to parenthood, individuals report goals related to having a smooth birth, caring for family, being a good parent, growing as a person, nurturing the relationship, and pursuing personal achievement (e.g., Salmela-Aro et al., 2000). Romantic partners can facilitate these goals during the transition to parenthood by providing tangible support, conveying emotional comfort, and bolstering self-esteem (e.g., Gillis et al., 2019). Notably, spousal support of personal goals (Salmela-Aro et al., 2010) and coordination of co-parenting behavior (Estlein & Shai, 2023) are associated with increased relationship satisfaction during the transition to parenthood. Thus, our first research question explores how partners facilitate goals and routines during this transition:

RQ1:

In what ways, if any, do romantic partners facilitate the achievement of personal goals and routines during the transition to parenthood?

A romantic partner’s influence can also present barriers to accomplishing desired goals and routines. The new responsibilities associated with the birth of a first child can interfere with the personal goals, routines, and actions that partners enjoyed prior to becoming parents (Durtschi et al., 2016). Moreover, the transition to parenthood is described as a period of traditionalization of gender roles, in which each parent begins assuming more gendered responsibilities (Perales et al., 2018), with women typically taking care of the interior household chores and child rearing and men often taking responsibility for exterior household chores and finances (Endendijk et al., 2018). During this transition, then, spouses need to reconstruct their individual and shared identities, schedules, responsibilities, and goals within the context of their novel roles as parents. This upheaval in partners’ roles and routines can be a source of distress and create opportunities for partner interference in individual goals. Thus, the second research question investigates the sources of partner interference during the transition to parenthood:

RQ2:

In what ways, if any, do romantic partners interfere with the achievement of personal goals and routines during the transition to parenthood?

An unexplored issue in the relational turbulence literature involves the extent to which sources of partner interference and facilitation are interrelated. Although interference and facilitation may appear to represent opposing ends of the dimension of influence, suggesting that the presence of one implies the absence of the other, romantic partners can simultaneously exert both helpful and harmful forms of influence in their relationship (Solomon & Theiss, 2011). In a study of individuals in dating relationships, partner facilitation and interference were positively correlated at the bi-variate level, but negatively correlated when a partner’s degree of influence was co-varied (Knobloch & Solomon, 2004). This reflects some complexity in the way that facilitation and interference are interrelated. Although actions that increase coordination between partners may sometimes ameliorate specific tensions and disruptions, efforts to help one’s partner may also give rise to perceptions of interference if that assistance is unwanted or ineffective (Theiss et al., 2016). Notably, this dynamic suggests that romantic partners may experience shared or divergent views of the nature of influence between partners. Thus, we advance a research question that probes the potential patterns that may exist across themes of facilitation and interference within individuals and between partners:

RQ3:

How do themes of facilitation and interference occur between and across individuals and romantic partners during the transition to parenthood?

Finally, the transition to parenthood unfolds over time, with new changes and challenges introduced at various turning points throughout the trajectory. First-time parents may prioritize different goals at different stages of the transition, with personal achievement goals taking a back seat to birth- and health-related goals during pregnancy, and parenting goals taking on importance after birth (Salmela-Arlo et al., 2000). Accordingly, the ways that partners facilitate or disrupt these goals may also manifest differently throughout the course of this transition, as partners must frequently coordinate new routines when the behaviors they adopted in response to previous circumstances are rendered ineffective for dealing with new conditions (Brisini et al., 2018). Thus, a final research question probes how partner facilitation and interference may change over the course of this transition.

RQ4:

How do themes of facilitation and interference evolve over time during the transition to parenthood?

Method

To explore these research questions, we conducted a longitudinal study where romantic dyads completed online surveys at four points during the transition to parenthood (pre-birth, one month, three months, and six months after birth). We recruited participants through online support forums for pregnant women and by distributing flyers at obstetrics and gynecology offices. Dyads were eligible to participate if: (a) they were over 18 years old; (b) they were in a heterosexual, cohabiting romantic relationship; (c) they were in the second or third trimester of pregnancy with their first child; (d) both partners were biological parents of the child; and (d) they had Internet access. Participants received $15 gift cards to a national retailer for completing the first and fourth waves and $10 gift cards for finishing the second and third waves.

Sample

Romantic partners from 78 heterosexual couples (N = 156) participated in the study. Participants ranged in age from 18 to 48 (M = 28.38 years). The sample was largely Caucasian (83.2%), followed by Latino/a (5.8%), South Asian-Indian (3.9%), African American (3.2%), Native American (3.2%), Asian/Pacific Islander (1.9%), and Other (2.6%). Participants’ relationship status was married (87.2%), engaged to be married (7.7%), and cohabiting but not married (5.1%). Length of relationship at the present status averaged 2.47 years (range = 3 months to 10 years). Most participants (67.09%) had a planned pregnancy. Some participants (21.05%) previously had a pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage or stillbirth.

Procedure

Individuals emailed the researchers to enroll in the study with their partner and received screening questions to determine eligibility. Eligible couples were sent a link to the first online survey and each individual was assigned a unique username and password that were used to link responses across waves and between partners. The pre-birth survey, obtained demographic information, relationship history, and sources of partner facilitation and interference. The subsequent waves (at one-month, three-months, and six-months post-birth) asked participants to report on partner facilitation and interference in their relationship in the past two weeks.

Measures

To evaluate partner facilitation (RQ1), participants were asked to respond to an open-ended question that asked, “What has your partner done during the past few weeks to help make your life easier?” To evaluate partner interference (RQ2), participants were asked to respond to an open-ended question that read, “What challenges have you and your partner faced in the past few weeks?”¹

Analysis

We conducted a thematic co-occurrence analysis to identify themes of partner facilitation and interference and illustrate how themes co-occur between and across partners (Scharp, 2021). A thematic co-occurrence analysis involves three steps: (a) a thematic analysis, (b) creating a matrix of the occurrences of each theme in the data, and (c) analyzing the matrix for relationships between and across themes. Beginning with the thematic analysis, the open-ended responses for each question across waves of the study were combined into a single data set for analysis. Two trained research assistants identified themes in the combined data through an open and axial coding process (Braun & Clarke, 2021). After reading through the entire data set to familiarize themselves with the responses, coders independently created a list of topics that occurred frequently and/or were expressed with intense language or presentation (e.g., ”[we struggle with] time management!”). Then, the research team met to assess overlapping topics and identify broader themes that encompassed the topics that were identified. Finally, the team returned to the data to verify that the broader categories sufficiently captured the diversity of responses in the data. This process yielded four themes of partner facilitation (RQ1) and five themes of partner interference (RQ2).

Next, we constructed co-occurrence matrices for each wave of data. Since we sought to examine co-occurrences between partners, it was necessary to have data from both partners in each wave, and since we aimed to explore changes in thematic patterns across waves, it was necessary to have data for each person in each wave. Therefore, to better track co-occurrences between partners and changes in themes across waves, only dyads in which both partners completed all four waves of the study were included in the co-occurrence matrices. This resulted in a final sample of 42 dyads and a total of 336 responses across all four waves for the purposes of constructing the co-occurrence matrices, which illustrate the frequency of occurrences and relationships between and within themes (Scharp, 2021). For each dyad, an “X” is recorded in the column(s) corresponding to the themes that were present in the response and a “+” sign is added to themes that are forceful, meaning they are expressed emphatically or evocatively (e.g., ”[my husband] expects me to ask EVERY time I need him to do something”).

The final step of a thematic co-occurrence analysis is to examine the matrix for relationships between and across themes (Scharp, 2021). A pattern of co-occurrence is recorded when two (or more) themes frequently occur together within responses. We examined patterns that occurred within individuals’ themes of partner facilitation and interference, as well as patterns that occurred across partners’ themes. Each pattern was labeled with a letter and a number. The letter represents the presence of a relationship between individual themes (for example, in wave 1 the theme of scheduling/time management co-occurred with the theme of changes in routine/lifestyle) and the number denotes how many themes comprise that relationship (for example, two themes – i.e., 1, 2). Themes were also labeled as ubiquitous if they were pervasive throughout the data. Across all four matrices, there were 13 patterns that emerged between and across themes of interference and facilitation within individuals and between partners (RQ3). The patterns were then evaluated using Scharp’s (2021) thematic co-occurrence continua that reflect if patterns are (a) pervasive (i.e., present throughout much of the data) or sporadic (i.e., occurring with limited frequency); (b) bilateral (i.e., themes continually occur together) or unilateral (i.e., one theme often occurs without the other); and (c) balanced (i.e., both themes are equally recurrent, repetitious, and forceful) or unbalanced (i.e., one theme is stronger than the other). After identifying the patterns, the second and third authors engaged in peer debriefing to discuss the findings and agree on the occurrence of the patterns and their meanings. Finally, to determine patterns and changes in the prevalence of themes over the course of the transition to parenthood (RQ4), we examined the occurrence of themes across the four waves of data. These observations identified two over-time patterns in facilitation themes and two over-time patterns in interference themes.

Findings

Themes of partner facilitation during the transition to parenthood

The first research question explored how romantic partners facilitate each other’s goals and routines in the transition into parenthood. Results of the thematic analysis revealed four themes related to facilitation: (a) emotional support, (b) sharing responsibilities, (c) tangible support, and (d) prioritizing the relationship.

Emotional support

The first theme referenced partners’ efforts to provide emotional comfort and support. This included kind and encouraging words, simple expressions of appreciation, and/or empathy for emotional states. One participant (participant 20, male, age 27) stated that “She has been supportive when I had to go back to work, making me feel like what I do now has an even bigger purpose (providing for my son).” Another participant (participant 21, female, age 26) noted that her partner is “very supportive of me. His attitude toward me helps me know that he loves me and appreciates what I do as a mom.” Individuals also mentioned that their partners tried to keep them grounded emotionally. One participant (participant 91, female, age 37) stated that her partner “often asks me if there’s anything he can do to help me out emotionally or otherwise.” Thus, the provision of emotional support is one way that partners exert positive influence and help each other embrace their personal goals and actions during the transition to parenthood.

Sharing responsibilities

The second theme described how partners coordinated their responsibilities for childcare and household tasks by striving for equity and shared responsibility. One participant (participant 70, male, age 31) stated, “We’ve obviously become busier which leaves less time for us to just be a couple, BUT … I’m enjoying our new partner role as parents. Organizing and sharing duties has been surprisingly fun. More exhausting, but definitely very cool.” Another individual (participant 71, female, age 31) indicated, “He takes care of our daughter in the morning while I get ready for work and takes her to daycare.” Participants also discussed sharing responsibilities around the house. One participant (participant 44, female, age 25) stated, “There is way less stress/tension as we learn to adjust to our new lifestyle with a baby … We share responsibilities once we get home from work. We are finally back to the way we were before the baby was born.” These examples illustrate how partners help each other by equally distributing the responsibilities for childcare and household maintenance.

Tangible support

The third theme referenced the provision of tangible support. Individuals indicated that their partner would take responsibility for completing various tasks with the specific goal of giving them a break or providing the time and space needed for self-care. One participant (participant 27, female, age 22) stated, “He helped more with the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the pets. He also soothes the baby and takes care of her while I take a shower or do other things for my ‘me time.’” Another participant (participant 31, female, age 32) described how her partner makes her feel supported and cared for: “He gets up with the baby at night to feed him and let me sleep or so I can pump at the same time. He makes dinner when I’m too tired. He rubs my back for me. We take turns watching the baby so the other one can play computer games or take a shower.” Thus, tangible support makes it easier to accomplish specific goals, while also enhancing individual well-being during the transition to parenthood.

Prioritizing the relationship

The final way partners demonstrated facilitation was by prioritizing the romantic relationship despite the demands of having a newborn. Participants described spending time together and with others. One participant (participant 101, male, age 27) stated, “We have taken time to be around each other – date nights. We have moved near family. Now we have a little more time together as a couple.” Another participant (participant 143, female, age 20) talked about separating their relationship from the baby by stating, “A couple weeks ago, he decided to take me out to dinner and a hotel room for a few hours without the baby and arranged for childcare.” Finally, participants shared their appreciation of spending time alone as a couple, but also with others, as one individual (participant 128, female, age 25) stated, “ … scheduling fun stuff for us to do with other couples and friends.” Therefore, couples can facilitate positive outcomes for one another during this transition by engaging in efforts to maintain their romantic relationship.

Themes of partner interference during the transition to parenthood

The second research question focused on the ways partners interfere with individual goals and routines. Results revealed five themes of partner interference: (a) changes in routine and lifestyle, (b) ineffective communication, (c) scheduling and time management, (d) distribution of household labor, and (e) diminished intimacy and romance.²

Changes in routine and lifestyle

The first theme of partner interference reflected disruptions related to adapting to new routines during this transition. One participant (participant 139, female, 26) struggled with integrating parenthood with their former lifestyle, stating “Right after we had the baby it was frustrating getting into a routine with my husband. He wanted to clear everything with me before he did anything, such as making a bottle. He’d ask if 3 ounces was ok. Sometimes I would get frustrated that he couldn’t just make the decision himself and that he’d have to ask me.” Another participant (participant 80, male, age 30) described his own inability to provide help due to lack of energy, “When I come home from work, I am usually pretty tired, and I know she needs a break from the baby and expects me to step in, but it’s hard to take over when I’m so tired and just want to rest.” Thus, lifestyle changes associated with having a baby are inherently disruptive to personal goals and routines, which frustrates partners during this transition.

Ineffective communication

A second source of interference was ineffective communication between partners. One participant (participant 74, male, age 35) explained that communication with his partner had become more volatile since becoming parents, describing challenges “Communicating with each other without fighting when it involves our feelings.” One individual (participant 49, female, age 30) described the problem as “Communicating/Staying connected. Me being less bossy and letting my partner do things his way. Finding time to talk about non-baby things.” Several participants described more heated communication due to disagreements over appropriate parenting strategies. One participant (participant 138, female, age 21) discussed challenges “Getting used to each other’s parenting techniques. It always causes arguments.” Thus, one of the ways that partners enact interference is through their inability to communicate effectively about a variety of topics.

Scheduling and time management

Partner interference also stemmed from difficulties coordinating scheduling and time management after becoming parents. One participant (participant 91, female, age 25) described challenges, “Sleepless nights that make you argumentative … . [We struggle with] time management! Trying to find time together.” Another participant (participant 145, female, age 26) described,

Shortly after I went back to work I started to feel frustration and anger towards [my husband] related to how he was spending his time. I would observe what I thought he was doing and think he should be doing something else … Because of our opposite schedule (I work at night) it was challenging to touch base or even have constructive conflict.

Finally, another participant (participant 147, female, age 26) stated, “We have been challenged by our different work schedules and being over committed, can’t seem to get on the same page.” Overall, difficulty coordinating schedules was a persistent source of interference during the transition to parenthood.

Distribution of household labor

A fourth theme highlighted partner interference related to the distribution of household labor. One participant (participant 34, female, age 27) stated, “ … He doesn’t feel that having a child should change his life and is often unwilling to help do things around the house.” Another participant (participant 144, female, age 37) described the burden of asking for help, stating “He is still not helping much with additional things we need to do since the baby came. He expects me to ask EVERY time I need him to do something – feed, change, etc.” Lastly, a third participant (participant 98, female, age 32) referenced “My husband’s lack of responsibility. Not helping out around the house [frustrates me].” Thus, partner interference stemmed from individuals lacking the motivation or awareness to help with household tasks, thereby increasing the burden for their partner.

Diminished intimacy and romance

A final source of partner interference involves diminished intimacy and romance. One participant (participant 20, male, age 25) stated that the biggest challenge was “Mostly sexual. He doesn’t make time for me anymore and I feel neglected.” Another participant (participant 131, female, age 25) indicated, “My husband gets frustrated and feels bad about himself when we don’t have sex, which causes me stress and makes me feel bad.” Another participant (participant 41, female, age 37) stated, “We have not had sex in over a year now. My husband does not seem to be disturbed by this. I feel unwanted.” Thus, one salient source of partner interference stems from reduced intimacy and mismatched sexual desires that leave partners feeling sexually unfulfilled.

Patterns between and across themes of partner facilitation and interference

The third research question examined co-occurrences between and across themes of facilitation and interference within individuals and between partners. The thematic co-occurrence analysis revealed three patterns in Wave 1, four patterns in Wave 2, one pattern in Wave 3, and five patterns in Wave 4. See Figure 1 for a summary of the co-occurrence patterns that emerged in each wave.

Figure 1. Summary of Co-occurrences across waves.

Note. Each row in the table represents one of the co-occurrence patterns that emerged within each wave of the study. Column 1 is the label for the pattern in the co-occurrence matrix: letters represent co-occurrences, and numbers indicate how many themes each relationship includes. Columns 2 and 3 identify the themes that were included in the co-occurrence, with H designating husbands’ themes and W designating wives themes. Column 4 includes descriptors of the co-occurrence pattern based on Scharp’s continua.

Wave 1: pre-birth co-occurrences

In the first wave during pregnancy, three patterns of co-occurrences were found between and across romantic partners (see Figure 2): (a) a sporadic, unilateral, and balanced relationship across men’s scheduling and time management and women’s changes in routine and lifestyle as sources of interference, (b) a ubiquitous pattern for men’s changes in routine and lifestyle as a source of interference, and (c) a ubiquitous pattern for women’s diminished intimacy and romance as a source of interference.

Figure 2. Wave 1 Co-occurrence matrix.

Note: For all tables, numbers at the top of a column correspond to one of the themes of facilitation (1 = emotional support, 2 = sharing responsibility, 3 = tangible support, 4 = prioritizing the relationship) or interference (5 = changes in routine and lifestyle, 6 = ineffective communication, 7 = scheduling and time management, 8 = distribution of household labor, 9 = diminished intimacy). An X represents presence of the theme and X+ indicates that the instance of the theme was forceful. Letters (e.g., A, B, and C) represent a relationship, or co-occurrence, with numbers reflecting how many themes are present in each relationship. A sample of 30 dyads are included in the matrix for parsimony.

The first pattern was across men’s concerns over scheduling and time management and women’s concerns over changes in routine and lifestyle. This relationship was unilateral from the male partner to the female partner, such that when men discussed concerns over scheduling and time management, their partner also described changes in routine and lifestyle, but women’s descriptions of lifestyle changes also occurred absent of their partner’s concerns over scheduling. In one couple, this co-occurrence was demonstrated in the male partner’s (participant 90, age 24) concern that “I will want to work more and she will want me to be home more,” in contrast to the female partner’s (participant 91, age 25) broader lament about the “stress of balancing our new lifestyle together.” A second pattern for men was the ubiquitous occurrence of interference stemming from changes in routine and lifestyle, which frequently manifested as struggling to “adjust to the time requirements [of] having a child” (participant 150, male, age 39). A final ubiquitous pattern emerged for women with interference stemming from diminished intimacy and connection, which frequently manifested as worry about their ability to “[make] time for each other [and] continue to show affection towards each other and make the other person feel special and wanted and needed” (participant 84, female, age 31). Given that the interference question in the pre-birth survey asked participants what challenges they were anticipating in their relationship, these ubiquitous patterns line up with common expectations of first-time parenthood.

Wave 2: one month post-birth co-occurrences

In the data collected one month after childbirth, four co-occurrence patterns emerged between and across themes (see Figure 3): (a) a sporadic, bilateral, and balanced relationship across men’s and women’s reports of tangible support as a source of facilitation, (b) a ubiquitous pattern for men’s changes in routine and lifestyle as a source of interference, (c) a ubiquitous pattern for women’s changes in routine and lifestyle as a source of interference, and (d) a ubiquitous pattern for women’s sharing responsibility as a source of facilitation.

Figure 3. Wave two co-occurrence matrix.

The first relationship was relatively bilateral in nature, such that men and women identified tangible support as a source of facilitation with equal frequency and reciprocity. For example, in one dyad, a man (participant 17, age 48) reported that his partner “does her best to handle baby in the middle of the night so I can get some sleep to help me be functional at work,” while the woman (participant 68, age 31) reported that her husband “cooks for [her to] make sure [she’s] eating well. He offers to take the baby so I can rest or get a shower.” These results suggest that partners often reciprocate tangible support as a form of facilitation during the transition to parenthood.

There were also three ubiquitous patterns that emerged one month after childbirth. The first two patterns reflected men’s and women’s perceptions of interference stemming from changes in routines and lifestyle. For males, this pattern often reflected that the adjustment to parenthood was more difficult than they expected, such as one participant (participant 35, male, age 25) who described “We needed to get used to our new schedules. Learning how to breastfeed and the frustrations that come with it. Trying to find a moments peace.” Women expressed similar sentiments regarding “chores to be done around the house” (participant 61, female, age 28) and “agreeing on when to feed and change the baby, when to put her to bed, if she should get a pacifier, etc.” (participant 49, female, age 30). The final pattern reflected ubiquitous occurrences of women’s perceptions of their partner sharing responsibility as a form of facilitation. In most cases, this manifested in specific tasks the partner did (e.g., “He has kept up with cooking every night” or “handling household cleaning”) and a pleasant surprise at how much their partner helped.

Wave 3: three months post-birth co-occurrences

In the third wave, a sporadic, bilateral, and balanced co-occurrence emerged across men’s sharing responsibility and women’s tangible support as sources of facilitation (see Figure 4). For example, this pattern is exhibited in one dyad, where the man (participant 105, age 24) discussed how his partner “lets me sleep in … does house work and is always committed to taking the best care of our baby,” while the woman (participant 115, age 21) described how her partner “[takes] care of the baby at night when I’m too tired, cooked when I needed to feed, helped me with the grocery … while [I was] at school.” As this example illustrates, this co-occurrence often appeared in relationships with relative equity between partners, which men characterized as sharing responsibility and women described as tangible support since they were able to rely on their partner for help.

Figure 4. Wave three co-occurrence matrix.

Wave 4: six months post-birth co-occurrences

In the data collected six months after childbirth, five patterns of sporadic, unilateral, and balanced co-occurrences were found between and across themes (see Figure 5): (a) a relationship between men’s changes in routine and lifestyle and diminished intimacy and romance as sources of interference, (b) a relationship across women’s sharing responsibility as a source of facilitation and changes in routine and lifestyle as a source of interference, (c) a similar relationship across men’s sharing responsibility as a source of facilitation and changes in routine and lifestyle as a source of interference, (d) a relationship across men’s and women’s sharing responsibility as sources of facilitation, and (e) a relationship across men’s sharing responsibility and women’s emotional support as sources of facilitation.

Figure 5. Wave four co-occurrence matrix.

The first pattern was a unilateral relationship between men’s changes in routine and lifestyle and diminished intimacy and romance, such that diminished intimacy regularly occurred with changes in routine and lifestyle, but men’s reports of changes in routine and lifestyle also frequently occurred on its own. This co-occurrence is reflected in one participant’s (participant 72, male, age 26) description of challenges stemming from, “balancing our schedules and still finding time to spend with each other … chaoticness of her working, being in school, us having a baby, and me working two jobs.” Thus, reduced intimacy and connection is one manifestation of the changes to routines and lifestyle that men struggle with at six months after childbirth.

The next two patterns were unilateral relationships in which women and men who described interference from changes in routine and lifestyle also frequently reported sharing responsibility with their partner as a source of facilitation to combat these challenges. This pattern suggests that redistributing responsibilities in the relationship helps couples establish new coordinated actions in response to changes in their routines. One man’s (participant 36, age 38) response reflected this pattern, describing the challenge of “Finding enough time to fit in all of the things that we have to do,” but at the same time indicating that he and his partner figured out how to “split the chores in such a way that we can be most efficient.” Interestingly, although the pattern between sharing responsibility and changes in routine and lifestyle occurred for both men and women, the pattern did not emerge between partners in the same dyad. This suggests that disruptions to routines and the adoption of new responsibilities may not be experienced equally by both partners, making it more salient to the partner who has made more accommodations.

Two patterns also occurred across partners at six months post-birth. The first was a unilateral relationship between men’s and women’s perceptions of sharing responsibility as a source of facilitation, such that when men reported sharing responsibility their partner also recognized this as a source of facilitation, but women sometimes reported sharing responsibility without their partner indicating the same. Sharing responsibility is evident in one dyad where the man (participant 90, age 32) mentions that his partner “took on some extra household chores,” while the woman (participant 49, age 30) explains that when her partner “gets home from work, he takes over bath time and playtime so I can finish dinner, do dishes, or finish work.”

The final pattern was a unilateral relationship between men’s reports of sharing responsibility and women’s reports of emotional support as sources of facilitation, such that when women described a partner’s emotional support the male partner also reported sharing responsibility, but men also reported sharing responsibility without the female partner feeling supported. In one dyad, the male partner (participant 52, age 26) highlighted how his partner “got a job which relieved some of the income stress. Also, has focused on caring for the baby as my work schedule has been terrible,” while the woman (participant 53, age 25) indicated her partner “continued to support me and love me through my depression. Tried to reschedule work commitments to be home more.” Couples who exhibited this co-occurrence demonstrate that women feel emotionally supported when their partner shares in household responsibilities.

Patterns in themes over time

The final research question considered patterns in the themes of facilitation and interference across waves. There were two noteworthy trends in facilitation themes over time. One pattern revealed few responses describing sharing responsibility as a source of facilitation during pregnancy, but it became a prominent theme in all three waves after birth, particularly for women. Similarly, there was almost no evidence of tangible support during the pre-birth wave, it increased significantly at one- and three-months post-birth but dropped off again at six months. Taken together, these patterns suggest that the birth of the child is an inflection point where couples’ previously well-worn routines are upended to accommodate the plethora of new tasks and responsibilities that accompany parenthood.

Two notable patterns also emerged in the interference themes. First, changes in routine and lifestyle was a ubiquitous theme during pregnancy and one month after birth, but by three and six months after birth we see a noticeable decline in the number of responses that reference challenges in the relationship stemming from misaligned routines and lifestyle changes. Taken in concert with the increase in shared responsibility and tangible support across waves, this trend implies that partners learn how to effectively coordinate their actions over time so that more fluid routines supplant the disruptions brought about by lifestyle changes during parenthood. Second, there was a precipitous decline in the number of responses that referenced diminished intimacy and romance across waves. Thus, whereas physical and emotional intimacy may be hard to come by during pregnancy and immediately after birth, couples manage to reestablish these intimate connections once they acclimate to the new routines of parenthood.

Discussion

This study examined how romantic partners facilitate or interfere with each other’s goals and routines during the transition to parenthood and how these sources of influence are interrelated and vary over time. Results of a thematic co-occurrence analysis revealed four themes of partner facilitation, five themes of partner interference, 13 co-occurrences between and across these themes, and four over-time patterns that characterize the transition to parenthood. Theoretically, the results of this study advance relational turbulence theory (Solomon et al., 2016) by focusing on the role of a partner’s influence in promoting or impeding people’s goals during this transition. Methodologically, this study offers an extension of thematic co-occurrence analysis (Scharp, 2021) by adapting it for dyadic and longitudinal data to identify patterns between dyadic partners and at different stages of a transition. Pragmatically, our results are useful for identifying the sources of partner influence that shape relationship quality during the transition to parenthood, and sharpening focus on partners’ actions that facilitate positive outcomes for individuals and their relationships. In the sections that follow, we discuss our results in terms of their implications for helping couples navigate the transition to parenthood and for advancing theory and method.

Practical implications for couples navigating the transition to parenthood

The results of this study revealed four themes of partner facilitation during the transition to parenthood: (a) emotional support, (b) sharing responsibilities, (c) tangible support, and (d) prioritizing the relationship. A predominant sentiment that cuts across these themes is that romantic partners facilitate the achievement of desired goals and routines through the provision of social support (Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2020). Participants pointed to an array of tangible actions that individuals do to alleviate stress for their romantic partner and share the burden of excess tasks during the transition to parenthood. Notably, tangible support and shared responsibility are the two themes that evolved in their prominence over the course of the study. Increases in tangible support and shared responsibility during the early months following birth suggest that partners are being responsive to changes and adapting their behaviors and routines to accommodate new demands of parenthood. The decline in these actions at six months post-birth could indicate that partners have coordinated routines at this point in the parenthood trajectory, making a partner’s tangible support less salient because it has become the new status quo. Alternatively, given that the decline in tangible support and shared responsibility were most visible in wives’ responses, another possibility is that partners revert to more gendered (and potentially inequitable) roles and responsibilities when the perceived need for additional support begins to subside (Perales et al., 2018). In either case, providing tangible support that is responsive to the changing needs of the situation and sustaining an equitable distribution of responsibilities are important considerations for couples as they navigate this transition.

Evidence that tangible support and shared responsibility are important sources of partner facilitation during the transition to parenthood suggests possible points of intervention for helping couples navigate the challenges inherent in this experience. Although individuals may be particularly satisfied with tangible support that comes from their romantic partner, because it implies relational investment and builds a sense of teamwork, receiving assistance from external sources can further alleviate the burden of managing household and childcare responsibilities. To the extent that couples can solicit help from friends and family or take advantage of resources and services that simplify common tasks (e.g., grocery delivery, cleaning services, etc.), they will likely gain capacity to direct their time and attention toward more enjoyable and meaningful activities that can offer increased benefit to their relationship.

Beyond instrumental support, partners also provide emotional support that individuals require to sustain themselves through stressful circumstances (e.g., Don et al., 2022). During the transition to parenthood, new parents who are tired, stressed, and uncertain about their parenting decisions and actions find it easier to cope with these conditions when they receive empathy and reassurance from a supportive partner (Eller et al., 2023). Importantly, it is not merely the quantity of tangible or emotional support that contributes to facilitation during this transition, the quality of the provided support also makes a difference. Participants’ descriptions of a partner’s emotional support emphasized that it was particularly sensitive to their needs and offered much needed understanding and encouragement. Thus, couples that establish and maintain coordinated, responsive, and supportive communication patterns in their relationship are likely to enjoy heightened facilitation throughout this transition. Post-natal support groups and couples counseling can be particularly useful for helping romantic partners recognize the need for empathy and emotional connection, while facilitating the communication skills necessary to deliver sensitive and compassionate emotional support for one another.

Four co-occurrences of facilitation themes emerged across partners: (a) tangible support for men and women (wave 2), (b) sharing responsibility for men and tangible support for women (wave 3), (c) sharing responsibility for men and women (wave 4), and (d) sharing responsibility for men and emotional support for women (wave 4). These results suggest that individuals were actively engaging in facilitation behaviors to make life easier for their partner after childbirth. Many of these patterns included sharing responsibility from either men or women, implying that partners were mutually contributing to meet the demands of their new circumstances. These findings suggest that couples who strive for coordination and reciprocity in the execution of relational routines and parental tasks promote facilitation in the relationship. Of course, these themes were not ubiquitous across participants and waves, suggesting some dyads were misaligned in enacting facilitating behaviors to support each other through this transition. Thus, although there are themes and patterns that may characterize facilitative routines during the transition to parenthood, individual experiences are unique and relational partners should adjust to meet the demands of their relationship.

The results of this study also point to five themes of partner interference during the transition to parenthood: (a) changes in routine and lifestyle, (b) ineffective communication, (c) scheduling and time management, (d) distribution of household labor, and (e) diminished intimacy and romance. Most of these themes reflect sources of partner interference that arise out of the typical challenges associated with coordinating everyday life during the transition to parenthood. Having a baby inevitably calls for lifestyle changes that exacerbate scheduling problems, increase demands for household labor, diminish quality time for partners, and undermine communication (Kluwer, 2010). Consistent with the logic of relational turbulence theory (Solomon et al., 2016), romantic relationships marked by high levels of interdependence give rise to a climate in which routine disruptions to individual goals are a common byproduct of relational life. Most of the themes of partner interference that emerged in this study reflect the sort of mundane barriers to daily goals and routines that one might expect from a relational partner during the transition to parenthood.

Notably, some responses describing interference did not specifically identify a partner’s actions as the catalyst for goal disruptions, although the partner’s influence in these challenges is implied by their apparent failure to make adequate adjustments to accommodate these new circumstances. We suspect that one reason for this outcome was due to the way that the open-ended question was worded to ask about challenges they faced with their partner, not necessarily challenges caused by the partner. Thus, participants may have been primed to think about the difficult circumstances that characterize the transition to parenthood more broadly, as opposed to a partner’s specific actions that were disruptive. Nevertheless, these findings point to a possible silver lining in that individuals may be less likely to fault their partner for goal disruptions during the transition to parenthood to the extent that they attribute these hardships to the situation instead (e.g., Estlein & Theiss, 2014). Thus, partners who blame undesirable circumstances for their hardship likely experience more relationship satisfaction than individuals who attribute blame to their partner for the challenges that arise during the transition to parenthood.

One co-occurrence of interference themes in wave 1 was between husbands’ scheduling and time management and wives’ changes in routine and lifestyle. This pattern may reflect different orientations that men and women take toward similar difficulties associated with parenthood. Whereas men may fixate on concrete disruptions to schedules and activities, women may focus more on holistic lifestyle changes, which reflect two sides of the same coin that new parents are experiencing together. In light of these concerns, new parents should increase conversations about how their lifestyle will be altered by having a baby and how to proactively adjust their routines to minimize interference once the child is born. Notably, this co-occurrence does not appear again in the waves after childbirth, so the challenges that couples anticipate prior to childbirth may not align with the reality of parenthood once the child arrives. Thus, prenatal education and support groups can play an important role in helping expecting couples establish realistic expectations about the myriad ways their schedules, routines, and lifestyle are likely to change, which may help couples anticipate disruptions and coordinate their behaviors and actions to facilitate a smooth transition.

Extending theory and method

The results of this study contribute to the expansion of relational turbulence theory by focusing on the role of partner interdependence. Research employing the theory has invested considerably more effort in documenting the sources and outcomes of relational uncertainty as a mechanism of relational turbulence than investigating the role of a partner’s influence (Theiss, 2018). By focusing on the sources and co-occurring patterns of facilitation and interference, we emphasize the role of a partner’s influence during relationship transitions. Relatedly, this study also extends relational turbulence theory by placing sharper focus on facilitation from partners, which draws attention to the ways that a partner’s influence can sometimes be beneficial for promoting personal goals and coordinating relational routines. Moreover, the results of the co-occurrence analysis demonstrate how themes of facilitation and interference may operate in tandem as couples navigate the transition to parenthood. Understanding how partners enhance coordination and interdependence, while forestalling disruptions and interference, can be beneficial for helping couples navigate challenging transitions.

This study also extends the theory by considering how perceptions of partner facilitation and interference evolve throughout the transition to parenthood and how partners’ experiences are intertwined. The thematic co-occurrence analysis provides useful knowledge for how themes of interference and facilitation interact with each other and manifest between partners during this transition. Notably, two co-occurrences include themes across interference and facilitation in wave 4: sharing responsibility and changes in routine and lifestyle for both men and women. The only time these patterns occurred was six months after childbirth, suggesting that new parents are beginning to adjust to parenthood at this point in the transition, and addressing disruptions to routines by providing social support. Moreover, there were no other co-occurrences across interference and facilitation themes during earlier waves of the study, illustrating that it may take time for new parents to identify productive strategies for coping with sources of interference in their relationship (Le et al., 2016).

This study also offers methodological advancements in the application of thematic co-occurrence analysis to dyadic and longitudinal data (Scharp, 2021). Whereas co-occurrence analysis has typically been applied to highlight overlap between themes that are represented in individual accounts, this study demonstrates how the method can be used to showcase shared or divergent themes across relationship partners. The method could be further adapted to map themes across multiple members of the entire family system. This development illustrates how the method might evolve to explore manifestations of interdependence between partners in the way they experience relationship events. Furthermore, the application of this method to longitudinal data offers insight into the dynamic nature of relationship experiences during tumultuous transitions. Mapping the terrain of different themes over time can help people anticipate changes in their experiences at different benchmarks during transitions.

Limitations and future directions

This study has some limitations. First, since our data came from short answer questions on a survey, responses were often brief and we were unable to ask probing questions to further elucidate themes. Furthermore, the prompt that solicited sources of interference was broadly framed, resulting in a number of responses that did not attribute disruptions directly to the partner. Interviews may provide richer descriptions of the ways partners facilitate or interfere with goals and routines and allow for responses to be refocused on a partner’s behavior rather than the circumstances of the situation. Second, although this study documented themes of partner facilitation and interference during the transition to parenthood, it did not describe the ways that each type of influence produces particular outcomes in romantic relationships. Future research might consider how the specific sources of facilitation and interference correspond with different types of reactivity to relationship circumstances. Finally, our sample consisted of heterosexual couples and their biological child, which limits the generalizability of our findings to non-heterosexual, queer, trans and/or non-binary, as well as adoptive parents. Future research should explore the interdependence that exists between partners within diverse parenting communities to identify the experiences of partner facilitation and interference during the transition to parenthood in different settings.

Conclusion

The transition to parenthood can be an exciting time for couples, but the new roles and routines that are required of individuals during this transition create opportunities for partners to exert helpful or harmful influence when establishing new relational norms. Drawing on the logic of relational turbulence theory, this study identified four ways that partners facilitate goals and routines during this transition, five ways their behaviors can interfere with the achievement of new goals and routines, 13 co-occurrent patterns between and across themes and romantic partners, and four longitudinal trends. These results have practical utility for helping couples identify the actions that are most beneficial for navigating the transition to parenthood, as well as heuristic value for expanding the reach and impact of relational turbulence theory and thematic co-occurrence analysis. As scholarship on this topic evolves, we look forward to research that explores the outcomes of partner facilitation and interference during relationship transitions, and translates these findings for couples who seek to maintain their relationship through the tumultuous transition to parenthood.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Notes

1. The prompt for descriptions of partner interference was somewhat vague, which allowed participants to identify challenges in the relationship that were caused by external factors as well as difficulties brought on by the partner. Consequently, some of the responses did not focus specifically on a partner’s behaviors that were perceived to interfere with personal goals and routines, identifying broader sources of relational disruptions in addition to particular interruptions from the partner.

2. Two additional themes of interference were identified in the data, financial issues and external stressors, which were excluded from the themes and co-occurrence analysis since they did not reference disruptions that specifically related to the romantic partner’s actions.