The otherness of sexuality: Exploring the conflicted nature of drive, desire and object choice

ABSTRACT

This article explores how the psychoanalytic drive theories of Freud, Laplanche and Lacan elucidate the conflicted nature of desire and object choice. In a close reading of Freud’s Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality (1905), I emphasize the inherent tension in Freud’s thinking between the non-object-relatedness and object-relatedness of drive, as well as the conflictual path of object choice. Through discussion of Laplanche’s theory of the origin and nature of the drive, I underline the significance of the unconscious, enigmatic messages of the object. I argue that Freud, Laplanche and Lacan, although in different ways, convey an idea of sexuality’s otherness. This otherness may contribute to highlight divisions in the sphere of love, e.g. splits between sexuality and attachment so often encountered in clinical practice, when erotic desire comes into conflict with the need for a safe and stable relationship. The article aims at explicating the clinical value of a listening perspective entrenched in drive theory for understanding the ambivalence, conflicts and paradoxes of human object choice.

L'auteur de cet article examine la façon dont la théorie des pulsions chez Freud, Laplanche et Lacan, éclaire la nature conflictuelle du désir et du choix d'objet. Après une lecture attentive des Trois essais sur la théorie de la sexualité (Freud, 1905), l'auteur souligne la tension inhérente, dans la pensée de Freud, entre les différentes formes de la pulsion, selon qu'elle s'exprime sans ou avec objet, ainsi que le trajet parsemé de conflits rencontré par le choix d'objet. A travers l'étude de la théorie de Laplanche sur l'origine et la nature de la pulsion, l'auteur souligne l'importance des messages inconscients et énigmatiques émanant de l'objet. elle affirme que Freud, Laplanche et Lacan, chacun à leur façon, expriment l'idée de l'altérité foncière de la sexualité. Cette altérité est susceptible de mettre en lumière les divisions dans le domaine de l'amour, c'est-à-dire les clivages entre la sexualité et l'attachement, si fréquents dans la pratique clinique, lorsque le désir érotique entre en conflit avec le besoin d'une relation sécurisante et stable. L'auteur vise à expliciter la valeur clinique d'une écoute fondée sur la théorie des pulsions, afin de rendre compte de l'ambivalence, des conflits et des paradoxes du choix d'objet chez l'être humain.

Der Artikel untersucht, wie die psychoanalytischen Triebtheorien von Freud, Laplanche und Lacan die konfliktive Natur von Begehren und Objektwahl verdeutlichen. In einer eingehenden Lektüre der “Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie” (Freud 1905) wird die inhärente Spannung in Freuds Denken zwischen der Nicht-Objektbezogenheit und der Objektbezogenheit des Triebs sowie der konfliktreiche Weg der Objektwahl hervorgehoben. Mit einer Erörterung von Laplanches Theorie über den Ursprung und das Wesen des Triebs wird die Bedeutung der unbewussten, rätselhaften Botschaften des Objekts herausgestrichen. Es wird dargelegt, dass Freud, Laplanche und Lacan – wenn auch auf unterschiedliche Weise – eine Vorstellung von der Andersartigkeit der Sexualität vermitteln. Diese Andersartigkeit kann dazu beitragen, Spaltungen im Bereich der Liebe hervorzuheben, z. B. Spaltungen zwischen Sexualität und Bindung, wie sie in der klinischen Praxis so häufig auftreten, wenn das erotische Verlangen in Konflikt mit dem Bedürfnis nach einer sicheren und stabilen Beziehung gerät. Der Artikel soll den klinischen Wert einer in der Triebtheorie verankerten Hörerperspektive erklären, um die Ambivalenz, Konflikte und Widersprüche in der menschlichen Objektwahl zu verstehen.

L’articolo mostra i diversi modi in cui le teorie psicoanalitiche pulsionali di Freud, Laplanche e Lacan spiegano la natura conflittuale del desiderio e della scelta oggettuale. Attraverso una lettura ravvicinata dei Tre saggi sulla teoria sessuale (Freud, 1905), evidenzierò in primo luogo una tensione (insita nel pensiero di Freud) rispetto alla natura della pulsione e al suo essere o meno vincolata a una relazione d’oggetto, sottolineando poi anche il percorso conflittuale che caratterizza la scelta oggettuale. Passando a discutere la teoria di Laplanche sull’origine e sulla natura della pulsione, mostrerò quindi le implicazioni dei messaggi inconsci ed enigmatici dell’oggetto. Sosterrò altresì che, sebbene in modi diversi, tanto Freud quanto Laplanche e Lacan trasmettano con i loro scritti un’idea di sessualità a cui sottesa una dimensione di alterità. Tale alterità può aiutare a mettere in luce delle spaccature nell’ambito dei rapporti d’amore – ad esempio, quelle scissioni tra sessualità e attaccamento che tanto spesso si incontrano nell’attività clinica, laddove il desiderio erotico viene a trovarsi in conflitto con il bisogno di una relazione sicura e stabile. L’articolo ha anche lo scopo di spiegare il valore che una prospettiva d’ascolto radicata nella teoria pulsionale può avere in ambito clinico quando si vogliano comprendere appieno l’ambivalenza, i conflitti e i paradossi che caratterizzano le scelte oggettuali di ciascuna persona.

El presente artículo explora de qué manera las teorías de las pulsiones de Freud, Laplanche y Lacan elucidan la naturaleza conflictiva del deseo y de la elección de objeto. A partir de una lectura atenta de Tres ensayos de teoría sexual (Freud, 1905), se destaca la tensión intrínseca en el pensamiento de Freud entre el carácter relacional de la pulsión con el objeto y el carácter no relacional de la pulsión con el objeto, así como el camino conflictivo de la elección de objeto. A partir del análisis de la teoría de Laplanche sobre el origen y la naturaleza de la pulsión, se subraya la importancia de los mensajes enigmáticos inconscientes del objeto. Se sostiene que Freud, Laplanche y Lacan transmiten una idea de la otredad de la sexualidad, aunque de diferentes maneras. Esta otredad puede contribuir a resaltar divisiones en la esfera del amor, por ejemplo, escisiones entre la sexualidad y el apego, tan a menudo encontradas en la práctica clínica, cuando el deseo erótico entra en conflicto con la necesidad de una relación segura y estable. Este artículo busca explicar el valor clínico de una perspectiva de escucha arraigada en la teoría pulsional para comprender la ambivalencia, los conflictos y las paradojas en las elecciones objetales de los seres humanos.

KEYWORDS:

• Psychosexuality
• drive
• desire
• otherness
• love psychology

Notes

1 In his translation, Strachey failed to differentiate between the German concepts of Trieb and Instinkt and translated both terms as “a term that does not capture the specificity of human psychosexuality. When quoting Freud I will write “instinct drive,” to make clear that “drive” theory is not “instinct” theory.

2 Later, in Beyond the Pleasure Principle (Freud 1920), the concept death drive is introduced, as well as the assumption of a conflict between life drive (Eros) and death drive (Thanatos). Here, it is a question of fundamental theoretical principles rather than concrete motivational forces (Laplanche and Pontalis 1971).

3 Three Essays is described by Strachey (1953), in his introduction to the English translation, as Freud’s “most momentous and original contribution to human knowledge.”

4 “The ancients laid the stress upon the instinct drive itself, whereas we emphasize the object. The ancients glorified the instinct drive and were prepared on its account to honour even an inferior object; while we despise the instinctual-drive activity in itself, and find excuses of it only in the merits of the object” (footnote added 1910; Freud 1905, 149).

5 As noted by Strachey, this sentence was added in 1915.

6 Indeed, Freud observes that “sexual abuse of children is found with uncanny frequency” (Freud 1905, s. 148). This is interesting to notice, considering the strong critique of Freud’s theory during the 1990s. Critics maintained that Freud, by abandoning his theory of seduction in favour of the Oedipal conflict (Masson 1984), deserted sexually abused women and children. However, this quotation shows that Freud never abandoned the knowledge of childhood sexual abuse.

7 Laplanche, discussing the ambiguity of Freud’s use of the German term Lust (translated as pleasure), points out that Lust may denote both “pleasure” and “desire” (Laplanche 2007, 14). “Pleasure seeking” is often understood as discharge of tension, whereas “desire” rather denotes seeking of excitement. According to Laplanche, the translation of Lust as pleasure loses the ambiguity in Freud’s text.

8 Laplanche (1970) develops a different idea (that I will come back to), implying that drive is “implanted” by the other.

9 Laplanche (1997) develops this point further.

10 As noted by Blass (2016), Laplanche does not, however, notice the idea of non-object-relatedness which is also present in Freud’s discussion of autoeroticism, and which is emphasized in this article.

11 Fonagy refers to studies demonstrating that sexual excitation is not mirrored (Fonagy et al. 2002; Gergely 2007) in the same manner as other affects: when parents are asked how they deal with their sexually aroused baby (3–6 months old), most of them answer that they “look away”/“ignore” the child’s excitement (Fonagy 2008). Consequently, according to Fonagy, sexual arousal is not “represented” and owned like other affects. Rather, sexual feelings are felt as an alien self and sexual feelings can never “truly be experienced as owned” (Fonagy 2008, 23).

12 It can be questioned whether the little child’s excitation (e.g. the baby boy’s automatic erections) are “affects” in the same sense as other affects.

13 Of course, the concept of “attachment” and “attachment needs” has gained a specific meaning (need for security, gained through a bond to a specific person that the child can turn to when feeling vulnerable) in Bowlby’s theory, which differs from Freud’s in important respects (Gullestad 2001).

14 According to Eagle, while the incest taboo seems biologically based (the product of natural selection, to prevent inbreeding), the idea of universal incestuous wishes cannot be substantiated (Eagle 2016, 105–107).