Romanticizing the Stolen Kiss: Men’s and Women’s Reports of Nonconsensual Kisses and Perceptions of Impact on the Targets of Those Kisses

ABSTRACT

Stolen kisses are often portrayed as resulting from uncontrollable passion and a need to connect intimately with another. This study examined stolen kisses, defined as kissing someone for the first time when the kisser perceived the kiss recipient was not expecting it, and had not provided consent for the kiss. These kisses were examined from the perspective of the individual initiating the kiss. Participants (N = 130; M_age = 32.27; 67% identified as male) completed an anonymous online survey assessing kissing experiences of having stolen a kiss and their open-ended responses were analyzed here. Men were more likely than women to report having stolen a kiss in line with traditional heterosexual scripts. Three scenarios emerged through content analysis: mutual attraction leading to a new relationship; no known mutual attraction but a positive outcome; and no known mutual attraction and a negative outcome. Stealing a kiss from someone for whom there was mutual attraction often led to the onset of an intimate relationship; thus, the kiss constituted a relationship catalyst. When there was no known shared attraction, some interactions ended positively, but others resulted in an end to cordial relations and often strong negative reactions. Findings are discussed in terms of the limited literature on kissing generally and the nonconsensual nature of these events.

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank Mary Byers for her help with data collection and Kate MacGregor and Alex Thibodeau for their help with coding the data.

Disclosure Statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.