Constructing Identity Through Sex-Consumption: The Consumerist Narratives of Israeli Men Who Pay Women for Sex

ABSTRACT

This study examined how consumerism shapes the identity construction processes of Israeli men who pay women for sex (MPWS). Using the theoretical framework of symbolic interaction and the theoretical concept of extended self, we explored how Israeli MPWS extend their selves through sex-consumption. To this end, we conducted in-depth semi-structured interviews with 23 Israeli MPWS. An interpretive epistemology and a constructivist grounded theory methodology guided the data-analysis. We conceptualized three dynamics of self-identity construction processes through sex-consumption: Extending the self through assimilation of products or experiences, Extending the self through the purchasing process, and Extending the self through consuming the imagined. The findings revealed a complex process, whereby MPWS attribute various and contradictory meanings to their possessions, their consumerist experiences, and their purchasing processes. We conclude that consumerism is central to the meanings that MPWS attribute to their engagement in the sex industry. Thus, the theoretical framework of consumerism should be further applied to future studies in this field in order to gain a nuanced and deeper understanding of MPWS and the phenomenon of sex consumption.

Introduction

Consumerism in relation to the commodification of sex is a dominant cultural discourse, that scholars believe influences men who pay women for sex (MPWS) – a.k.a. “clients” – in Western countries in recent decades (Sanders et al., 2020). In particular, scholars argue that consumerist values guide the actions of MPWS (Pettinger, 2011), and demonstrate how neoliberal economic principles of product consumption and customer service are manifested in their experiences (Hammond & van Hooff, 2019; Katsulis, 2010). Several studies that have examined such experiences have noted that MPWS describe their interactions with women who are paid for sex (WPS) as “free-market commercial transactions” (Durant & Couch, 2019; Sanders, 2008; Wepener et al., 2013), insofar as they are simply buying what is being offered to them. Consumerist ideologies are also evident in online discussions between MPWS, in which they recount and review their sex-for-pay (SFP) experiences much as they would any other commercial transaction or purchase that is evaluated and graded by consumers online (Pettinger, 2011). In such forums MPWS often criticize the poor (sexual) services they have received from WPS (Tyler & Jovanovski, 2018), and sometimes collaborate and operate together as a “consumers” collective” seeking to change the conditions and the prices of the sex-market (Lahav-Raz, 2019).

Other studies on MPWS have explored the intersections between consumerism and masculinity. For example, MPWS claim that men effectively pay for sex in any case – be it explicitly, or as part of courtship rituals and romantic relationships with women – thus presenting their choice to pay for sex as the cost-effective behavior of rational men (Huysamen & Boonzaier, 2015; Kong, 2015, 2016; Tal-Hadar et al., 2022). Accordingly, they present their decision to pay for sex as a sign of a shrewd consumerist-masculine approach of men who are able to buy whatever they desire (Hammond & van Hooff, 2019).

Thus, as the literature suggests, for some MPWS purchasing sexual services is a consumerist-driven or consumerist-related behavior that at once manifests and reflects consumerist values. This ties in with today’s neoliberal post-industrial culture, in which consumption (as opposed to production) is a major economic and social engine (Bauman, 2007). The power of consumerism is founded on the principle of the right to individual pleasure, and to have one’s “needs” fulfilled through consumption (Illouz, 1997). Consumers, therefore, seek and purchase experiences, escape, excitement and relaxation; and various key aspects of human interactions – such as the emotional, mental, physical and sexual – are being sold and bought (Sanders et al., 2020). However, although neo-liberalism and consumerism have been applied to the study of the motivations, behaviors, perceptions, and experiences of MPWS, they have has not yet been used to explore identity-related issues of MPWS (Prior & Peled, 2021).

Accordingly, the present study sought to explore how MPWS construct their identity through sex-consumption within a consumer culture. The following sections will therefore describe the theoretical framework for our conceptualization of identity construction processes in the present study, as well as the unique features of constructing identity within a consumerist society.

The Theoretical Perspective of Identity Construction

Symbolic interaction theory (SIT) of identity construction was the broad interpretive framework that governed the understanding of identity construction processes in the present study. It is a micro-sociological theory that looks at how individuals create and maintain identity through day-to-day interactions with others, and through the meanings and the interpretations they assign to these interactions (Carter & Fuller, 2015). According to Blumer (1966), people’s actions depend on how they interpret the actions of the other(s) they interact with, and on their internalization of others’ reactions to their own actions within social interactions. Similarly – according to SIT – in the process of identity construction individuals engage in an inner dialogue between their perceptions of their own actions and the (perceived) interpretations that others assign to their behavior. These processes of verbal and symbolic communication reflect relevant social discourses – which, in turn, shape those very social constructions and institutions (Charmaz et al., 2019).

In this study, we focused specifically on identity construction processes in the context of consumer culture – which is salient to the activities of MPWS (Sanders et al., 2020). We applied SIT to understand how MPWS interpret their interactions in sex-consumption, in the hope of eliciting new and meaningful insights into the role of consumerism in the identity construction processes of MPWS.

Processes of Identity Construction in a Consumerist Society

The transformation of a producer-based society to a post-industrial one of consumers bears various ramifications for how individuals are integrated into the social order (Bauman, 2007). Consumption is not only a meaningful practice of everyday life, but also a means of constructingone’s identity and locating oneself as a member of society (Kleine et al., 1995). The paths to self-identity, self-definition, and to a place in society all require daily visits to the marketplace – and consumers’ “subjectivity” is a set of shopping choices (Bauman, 2007). “Shopping is not merely the acquisition of things: it is the buying of identity” (Clammer, 1992, p. 197), or as Sassatelli (2012) put it:

To consume is also to act as “consumers”, that is, to put on a particular kind of identity and to deal with its contradictions. […] Consumer culture is deeply implicated in the fabrication of identities: it produces consumers, and does so in a variety of ways. (p. 236)

The modality of consumerism is freedom of choice (Bauman, 2005); consumption reflects the fundamental choices of the type of person we wish to be, and we use the products we consume to express ourselves and to communicate with others (Dittmar, 1992; Douglas & Isherwood, 1996). We also choose certain commodities over others because they are culturally compatible with the identity that we wish to embrace (Gabriel & Lang, 1995). From the perspective of SIT (Charmaz et al., 2019), one’s self-identity is negotiated in actual interaction with others, as well as in inner dialogs with internalized imagined others. Thus, consumption that occurs in public and in private elicits self-definition, and we incorporate whatever we perceive as “ours” into our identity (Wattanasuwan, 2005).

Expanding the basic notion that we are what we have, Belk (1988) proposed the concept of extended self to describe the meaningful relationships between the possessions we own and our sense of self-identity. People assimilate possessions into their selves, and these possessions function as extensions of the self by projecting components of the inner “I” for display so others can see who they are (Dolfsma, 2008; Mittal, 2006). According to Belk (2014) possessions are therefore more than merely the products people purchase, but are also the experiences that people have, the places they refer to as “ours,” and the persons they interact with who play a crucial role in their lives. Thus, people search for various meaningful experiences to purchase, through which they gain a sense of worthiness and identity (Sassatelli, 2012).

The modern consumer is a hedonist, for whom consumption is much more than bargaining a price (Campbell, 2021). For him, consumption is a right to enjoy – not a duty to endure. Moreover, aesthetics, not ethics, is the principle which keeps society on its course; while ethics attribute supreme value to a duty well done, aesthetics place a premium on sublime experience (Bauman, 2005). Therefore, in a consumerist society, the opportunity to experience is something to be seized at any given moment; each moment is equally good and appropriate for the purpose, and people are eager to experience immediate and constant satisfaction and fulfillment (Sassatelli, 2012). People actively seek to be seduced, and their sense of self-worth is based on the ability to move from one attraction, temptation or experience, to the next. Hence, consumers are able to extend their selves not only through acquiring and possessing (Belk, 1988), but also by remaining in constant motion, in a perennial attempt to avoid being bored (Bauman, 2005, 2007).

Finally, in the context where consumption is a meaningful social activity, possessions are not only the means by which people extend their selves (Belk, 1988), but are also part of their social interactions, and hence used to communicate aspects of their identities (Richins, 1994). Accordingly, socially shared beliefs about possessions as symbolic manifestations of identity facilitate the expression of our identity through the products we consume, and we make inferences about other(s) we interact with on the basis of what they consume (Dittmar, 1992). This is in line with the principles of SIT, whereby identity is constructed through symbolic communication, and within a specific social context (Charmaz et al., 2019). Accordingly, it is important to address the local Israeli context of consumerism culture in which the participants in the present study operated.

In line with global economic trends, the Israeli society has developed in the past few decades into a class-structured society with a neoliberal capitalist economy (Ben-Porat, 1992). Within this economy – fashioned after North America and western Europe’s consumerist culture of “living the American dream” – consumerist ideas and behaviors that put ambition and hedonism as the be-all and end-all have become more prominent since the 1970s (Arev, 2017; Carmeli & Applbaum, 2004). Most importantly, this economic culture has become an important context in which new identities – including those of MPWS – are constructed in the present Israeli society (Sasson-Levy et al., 2014).

Summary and Research Questions

The unique aspects of consumer culture shape how people present themselves, interact with others, and consequently construct their identity. By acquiring certain products or services, people are able to project the self-image they desire, and market-exchange practices enter their day-to-day interactions with other people, and the relationships they establish. Thus, consumption is an important mechanism by which people construct their identity. By applying the theoretical framework of SIT and the conceptual framework of extended self, we explored how sex consumption within the sex industry – and the meanings MPWS assign to their interactions – enable MPWS to extend their selves.

Method

The interpretive epistemology that guided this qualitative study (Guba & Lincoln, 1998) posits that knowledge is interactively constructed throughout the research process, within certain temporal, relational and spatial contexts. Accordingly, the study followed a constructivist grounded theory method (Charmaz, 2014). The analysis of in-depth semi-structured interviews with Israeli MPWS sought to capture the multi-layered identity-related meanings that the men assigned to their experiences in SFP.

Participants

Twenty-three Israeli MPWS took part in the study. They were recruited in the years 2019–2020—a transformative period in the legal status of Israeli MPWS. In the past decade, the view that paying for sex is a form of violence against women has increasingly gained currency in the Israeli public, professional, and social advocacy discourses (Peled et al., 2020). In 2018, the Israeli parliament passed the Prohibition on Prostitution Consumption Law, which came into effect as of July 2020. This criminalized the purchase of sexual services, and imposed an administrative fine on offenders, with an alternative to attend an educational program. Thus, it is likely that during this period Israeli MPWS became more concerned about the normative nature of their actions.

Israeli adult MPWS were invited to participate in the present study through (1) Facebook ads posted on groups dealing with sex work, sex, gender, and intimacy and the authors’ private profiles; (2) therapists specializing in treating sex addiction and sexual dysfunction; (3) an informal Israeli “John school”; (4) personal acquaintance; and (5) snowball sampling. Thirty-five men responded to the initial invitation, 12 of whom chose not to participate – mostly for fear of being exposed, or because they had mistaken the research advertisement for an actual ad of sexual services.

The average age of the participants was 39.6 (range = 22 to 72). Eighteen participants were born in Israel, three in the former USSR, one in Turkey, and one in the US. Seventeen participants were of Jewish secular background, four were of Jewish religious background, and two were Jewish “Ultra-Orthodox.” Twelve participants were high-school graduates, ten were university educated, and one had dropped out after elementary school. Fifteen participants worked at white-collar jobs, four at blue-collar jobs, two were students, and two were unemployed. Nine participants were single, eight were married, and six were divorced. Thirteen participants had children.

In terms of SFP habits, nine participants paid for sex over 1–10 years, five over 11–20 years, and eight for over 21 years (one participant refused to say). Three participants declared that they no longer paid for sex, while the remainder were still actively involved in sex-purchasing at the time of the interview. The participants’ SFP experience varied in their settings – including street-based settings, parlors, hotels, private home, and strip clubs.

Data Collection and Analysis

The 23 participants took part in 28 in-depth semi-structured interviews (five more than the number of participants because, in four instances, the interview was incomplete, so the participant was invited to a follow-up interview, resulting in one additional interview for three participants, and two additional interviews for the fourth). All interviews were conducted by the first author in the course of 2019–2020. The interviews usually lasted 100 minutes (range: 30 minutes to 2.5 hours). At the participants’ request, six interviews were conducted by telephone or Skype, and 22 at locations such as coffee shops, that enabled relative privacy, or private offices. The interview protocol consisted of the following topics: the participant’s personal experience in SFP; his interactions with WPS and other MPWS; his perceptions of masculinity, consumerism, normativity and deviancy (in the context of SFP); and identity dilemmas regarding his SFP experience.

Data analysis was done according to constructivist grounded theory procedures (Charmaz, 2014), using MAXQDA 2022 qualitative analysis software. The analysis began following data collection after the first few interviews and continued throughout, coupled with subsequent updates to the interview protocol to reflect new understandings. Thus, for example, after initial coding of the first few interviews, we added a question about conflicts and contradictions in the participants’ experiences of SFP, as it was found to be relevant to understanding identity dilemmas and identity work practices. When the coding process reached saturation and no longer yielded new insights, we stopped collecting data. The interviews were then coded into several categories of prominent identities in the participants’ narratives, one of which – the consumer one – we focus on in this paper. Next, we delved into the literature of consumer culture and consumer identity. We identified Belk’s (1988) theoretical conceptualization of extended self to be useful for further developing the analysis, and used it, along with the theory of symbolic interactions, to identify and capture the dynamics of identity construction processes of MPWS through sex-consumption.

Positionality

Our extensive experience in studying MWPS from a constructivist approach has taught us that SFP is a complex social phenomenon. Accordingly, we reject binary definitions of the impact and meaning of SFP, and are committed to interpreting the participants’ narratives with all their complexities and contradictions. The first author, who conducted the interviews, is a young cisgender white woman with several years of experience in interviewing MPWS. Previous studies show that MPWS tend to perceive female scholars as judgmental and critical, and therefore they attempt to maintain a respectable image particularly when being interviewed by women (Huysamen, 2016; Prior & Peled, 2022). This was evident in the present study, as most of the participants assumed that the interviewer, being an upper-middle class and university educated woman, supported the criminalization of MPWS. In response, they seemed invested in maintaining a normative identity. This may have led them to expand on their consumerist narratives and to omit narratives that might present them as abusive or coercive. Nevertheless, the interviewer’s familiarity with this population and the phenomenon, and her experience in interviewing MPWS, helped her to foster a relaxed atmosphere in most interviews, and a sharing of the participants’ explicit, rich and nuanced sexual and intimate narratives of SFP.

Ethical Considerations and Evaluation Criteria

The study was approved by the Institutional Review Board of Tel Aviv University, and all the participants signed consent forms. The participants were able to terminate their participation at any time, or to refuse to answer certain questions, without adverse consequences, and a debriefing conversation was held at the end of each interview. Most participants remarked that the interview atmosphere was non-judgmental and respectful, and were pleased to have the opportunity to discuss their experiences. Participants’ names and other identifying details have been changed or omitted to maintain confidentiality.

In the present study, credibility was achieved through strong reflexivity throughout the research process (Charmaz & Thornberg, 2021). In the section of positionality we explicated the socio-political context of the study as well as our taken-for-granted assumptions, and showed how hidden beliefs entered the research process (Charmaz, 2017). Originality and Resonance were achieved through the fresh interpretive-driven conceptualization we offered to the recognized phenomenon of SFP (Charmaz & Thornberg, 2021). Further, Substantive validation requires researchers to provide an account of the interpretation process in the written record of the study so they do justice to the complexity of the phenomenon and show they have considered their own understanding of it as well as understandings derived from other sources (Angen, 2000). The critical literature review, the thick descriptions (see Results section) and the detailed account of positionality, reflect the comprehensiveness of the interpretation process in the present study. The substantive validation will also be supported by the readers felt sense of whether the work is a worthwhile interpretation (Angen, 2000).

Results

As previously noted, we used the theoretical framework of SIT and the concept of extended self to deepen the understanding of how sex consumption contributed to the identity construction processes of the MPWS. We identified three key dynamics of extending the self through the consumption of sex: assimilation of products and experiences, the purchasing process, and consuming the imagined.

Extending Self-Identity Through Assimilation of Products and Experiences

People define who they are through extensions of the self – namely, internal processes, ideas and experiences, as well as people, places, and things that they own and feel attached to (Belk, 1988). Extending the self through assimilation is about the integration of what is “mine” into “me,” by constantly attaching the labels of “Not me” or “That is so me” to the various products offered in the marketplace (Mittal, 2006):

All of these experiences [of SFP]—ultimately, you’re buying experiences, that’s how I see it. It’s either buying stuff or buying experiences. It’s buying experiences in, uh, a certain way: sometimes these experiences suck, sometimes they’re really really good, uh, and a lot are somewhere in between. […] It’s a lot about what stage of life you’re in at that time, what you’re looking for, what … you’re attracted to, what you like. So, that’s it—that’s me. (Tal, 38, divorced)

For Tal, consuming sexual experiences is a way of being (Shankar & Fitchett, 2002) – and not about seeking an extraordinary, identity-changing, unique experience (Hornik & Diesendruck, 2017). Indeed, he admitted that most of his experiences in SFP were average. However, these mundane SFP experiences and memories contribute to the collective experiences that ultimately make up who he is. It is through having and by looking at what he possesses that he knows who he is (Sartre, 1956). People express and confirm a sense of being through what they have or what they own, and possessions are symbolic resources by which they can convey, or deny, self-images that represent or misrepresent them (Elliott & Wattanasuwan, 1998):

On the streets it [SFP] it costs me, like, NIS 280 [~$80]. I was angry with myself for doing it—because, for what? Why are you going to these things?[guffaws] Why are you buying a product -uh, I’m aware that I’m treating women as products, but OK-, Why are you buying an inferior product, if you can go to a better product? Cause you can [afford it]! It’s an inferior product, that’s how it’s known. (Sasha, 36, single)

For Sasha, WPS on the street meant buying substandard. His account suggests that he wishes to distance himself from the image of someone who is hard-up so is obliged to buy “cheap goods,” and to present himself as a resourceful man with certain standards.

While Tal talked about consuming “experiences,” Sasha explicitly and consciously described WPS as “products” – and inferior ones, at that. We suggest that the blunt objectification of WPS by Sasha and other participants is a necessary intermediate stage in the process of extending one’s self by assimilating WPS as products. It is possible that they are threatened by the idea of extending their selves by regarding WPS as human others (Belk, 1988), given the social stigma often attached to those who interact with WPS (Neal, 2018; Weitzer, 2018). Saul went further to provide a logical justification for the use of WPS:

When you have an affair, you need to buy her presents, take her places in Israel and abroad—and these things are expensive. Where are you going to find a man who’s willing to maintain an affair just to have sex? There are some—I’m not saying there aren’t—but very few. Who would be willing to take a woman for an affair, have sex and love, and pay so much? There’s a saying that for a glass of milk you don’t buy a cow—you can go to the grocery store, right? There’s a prostitute—[if] he wants sex, he pays whatever it costs, he goes for, say, half an hour, an hour, gets dressed and goes home. […] why should I have an affair [with someone]? I go to a prostitute, get my release, return home. (Saul, 72, divorced)

Saul’s depiction of WPS robs them of their humanity as well as their holistic existence. While he likens women with whom one has an affair to animals (cows), WPS (in his eyes) are reduced to mere objects – glasses of milk, whose only function is to quench men’s thirst. For him and other participants, this casual de-humanization of WPS is a way of demonstrating the aspects of their consumer identity that they value, such as wit and savviness. Thus, the participants extended their self-identities by assimilating “products” that they consume from the sex market, and the symbolic identity-related meanings they attribute to them. By presenting WPS as products and ignoring the moral implications of such objectification, MPWS can use them to project a positive self-image.

While Saul and Sasha sought to construct the identity of a sophisticated “man of the world”-like consumer, Jacob appeared to use the assimilation of SFP experiences into his self to project the identity of a “bad boy:”

There was something there [in SFP], something impulsive, something, er, primal, maybe even animal-like, something to be there just for me, a kind of oblivious, masculine, narcissist place […] A place of, er, disconnecting from this reciprocity, of seeing the other person, and just being with my own needs at that moment—and the rest of the world can go to hell. Taking care of myself without considering others, without being considerate, without being nice, er, without stopping. Um, just going full on whatever I feel like […] without rules, without boundaries […] Inside there was this inner need to unload, to release, to break conventions, to do forbidden things, er, to feel a kind of freedom to choose whether to be a bad boy or not—something freer, less suffocating. (Jacob, 58, married)

Sex consumption enabled Jacob to construct for himself the identity of a “bad boy,” which he regarded as positive (Shankar & Fitchett, 2002). His narrative validates the stigma of WPS as dirty and sinful (Neal, 2018) – but rather than distancing himself from it, as Sasha did, he embraces it. However, the stigmatic meanings of the “products” that Jacob buys (WPS) are not assimilated directly into his self. Instead, he uses the symbolic meaning of a “bad boy” that he assigns to his experiences to construct the persona he wishes to possess, and project. Thus, it is the consumers’ own symbolic interpretation of the products they assimilate into their selves that is crucial to their processes of identity construction through consumption (Elliott, 2004).

Extending the Self Through the Purchasing Process

Expanding on Belk’s theory, Mittal (2006) suggested that people can extend their selves by investing in the acquisition of products and experiences. He argued that when significant resources (money, time, energy) are invested in consuming a given product, people tend to see that product as part of who they are. We argue that it is not only the extent of resources that are invested in the purchasing process, but the symbolic meanings of the purchasing process as well that contributes to such extensions of the consumer’s self-identity. In other words, the purchasing process becomes the purpose, instead of just the means – thus supporting the notion that shopping is not about buying, but about being (Campbell, 2004):

I used to go to Tel Aviv first thing in the morning, and start making phone calls. Sometimes it was … the telephone calls themselves were also exciting … […] it wasn’t about walking into a bar or something—it’s like about book a hotel room, or a motel room—like, a whole experience built around it. I would take a couple of newspapers, check into the hotel room, and start making calls, and start taking notes—unless I had a favorite that I had a good time with in the past, [I would make the calls] and ask for details, and more details, and more details, and more details—and finally I would choose what I want, pick up the phone, have a good time for an hour, and go home. (Moshe, 50, divorced)

Gathering information and conducting a thorough market research dominated Moshe’s experiences in SFP. Perhaps in light of his former ultra-Orthodox background, investing in the purchase process excited him, and through that process he constructed a liberal self-identity.

Aryeh’s purchasing process also involved a thorough and meticulous exploration of the sex market. For him, it was a way of constructing the identity of a sensible and well-informed consumer, and portraying himself as a consumer who straddles the market, and stays “on top” of its latest and finest “products:”

I want to try everything I can, whatever’s possible, whatever’s allowed, whatever the market has to offer. And I … I do try everything. At least once a week I meet up with someone [a WPS], and every time I choose someone that I can try different things with, new things. […] These days, there are these online review forums of MPWS. I follow other people’s reviews, and, uh, choose who to meet up with. […]. For example, there was someone who had gotten great reviews about two months ago—but then she disappeared for a while. And then, all of a sudden, two days ago, she popped back up online—so I straight away set up a date with her, and hour later I was at her place. […] I spend a lot of time on this—at night I go into forums to see, uh, who is recommended and, uh, who is recommended … —I spend, like, an hour every day on these forums. Then I make my selection from all the … —from whatever is the best, I choose for myself the best one, pick a day, and plan my day [around that]. (Aryeh, 61, married)

Campbell (2021) has described consumerism as an endless pursuit of novelty and excitements – a process he dubbed self-discovery through consumption. The purchasing process that involves a continual search for new experiences to consume is actually a quest for answers to the question “Who am I?” – and as such, is a process of identity construction. By picking and choosing, or selecting their preferred products, MPWS learn about themselves; they discover their likes and dislikes, and extend their selves through the discovery of their taste (Campbell, 1987):

[Paying for sex] is, like, going to restaurants, or traveling, or going to different attractions, or sightseeing. So, you’ve been here, and you’ve been there, you go to this restaurant every week or you go somewhere else—or maybe you’ve been to a certain place but you didn’t like it and you don’t want to go there anymore, and you want to try this, and today you went here, and tomorrow you’ll try somewhere else. It’s something that’s … that’s beyond the sexual act, like, the basic sexual act. […] I mean, after you’ve been to an endless number of museums, I mean you want to visit … to have new experiences. […] there is this search for new options. […]. Someone new has popped up, all kinds of varieties—like, I dunno—transgenders. All kinds of women who come to work here from—I dunno Africa, or Ukraine. […] You’re all the time in a kind of situation where you’re looking for options. (Roman, 37, single)

Roman’s experiences in sex consumption are essentially about “the search” or “the purchase process.” By exposing himself to the wide range of “products” or services that the sex market offers, Roman was able to “test himself,” to discover his taste, and thus to discover who he is (Campbell, 2004). For him, paying for sex is beyond purchasing “the simple sexual act” – it is about the constant search, through which he is able to construct the identity of an explorer and an adventurer, a citizen of the world. Hence, we argue that it is the purchasing process that involves searching, tasting and testing, experimenting, and eventually selecting through which the consumer becomes.

Extending the Self by Consuming the Imagined

The third dynamic we identified concerns the extension of the self through the consumption of an imagined or fantasized identity. According to Campbell, individuals in the modern society are hedonistic artists of the imagination, who daydream and fantasize as a way of rejecting what they perceive as an unstimulating and unsatisfying real world, and to dwell on the greater pleasures offered by imaginative scenarios (Campbell, 2021). In other words, consumption enables people to gain access to imagined and fantasized personas, and to extend their selves by purchasing the possibility to become their fantasized identity:

Today I don’t have the opportunity to meet someone and hook up with her and have a nice evening together, and end up in bed with her. I don’t. I’m not interested in going to clubs or smelly bars, all of those crappy places, don’t interest me. That’s not who I am. So, what’s my way of getting this Wham-bam-Thank-you-ma’am experience? To find someone nice, worthy, who takes however much she takes, and all that—that doesn’t interest me, and to make myself that instant kind of experience. I’m making the experience for myself, you know what I’m saying? I … I’m creating the experience by fantasizing, in my thoughts, in my head. (Ronen, 53, divorced)

The pleasure that Ronen derives from sex consumption is only remotely related to his actual experience. In effect, what he was buying was the ability to fantasize, and that is what satisfied him. Consuming sex enabled him to project the imagined persona he wanted to embrace onto the experiences that he was consuming – a persona that had hitherto only been available in his daydreams and fantasies (Campbell, 1987). Through SFP, Ronen sought to extend his self into that of a “stud” or a “macho” man, who can easily hook up with “hot” sexual partners.

The illusion involved in the process of constructing identity through SFP did not seem to detract from Ronen’s or Gabi’s satisfaction with their extended personas. In fact, consumerism enables people to create an illusion that they know is false, but feels very real and true (Campbell, 2021; O’Shaughnessy & O’Shaughnessy, 2002). As Gabi put it:

When you buy sex, you’re actually … —you know that you’re buying a show. […] She doesn’t really love you, you’re not really … — you know you’re buying a show. You look for the best performers who will sell you the feeling of, like when you’re buying all kinds of … you look for the ones who will sell you the feeling of closeness, of intimacy, like something is happening [between you two][…] like when you go to a strip club and they start to play with your hair, and she starts to caress you. She doesn’t need to do that! […] She doesn’t, like, it’s not in [her repertoire]. She doesn’t, she’s not … again, that’s not what it’s about. It’s something, like, beyond what you feel. Again, you—for a moment you feel special. Now, I’m not … I know it’s a show, but if she’s selling this show, if she’s a good performer, I buy into it and my body buys into it—and that’s enough for me. It’s like, OK, I know it’s a show. I’m a big boy, I know that I’m buying sex […] I know that it’s a show, I know it’s … but again, if I feel it then it’s… I feel special, I feel like desirable. (Gabi, 53, divorced)

It seems that consciously paying for strippers’ attention and their physical sexual contact did not impair the sense of capability or self-value that Gabi gained from these experiences. He did not try to obscure the mercantile aspect of the interactions – on the contrary, he knowingly looked for “the best performers” who would “put on the best show,” thereby allowing him to extend his self into the identity of a special, worthy and desired man.

Nonetheless, even though Gabi emphasized that he is “a big boy” who is satisfied by purchasing the illusion that he knows to be false (Campbell, 2021), he was still apparently looking for moments of authenticity that would make him feel as though the strippers he was paying truly desired him (“they start to play with your hair, and she starts to caress you. She doesn’t have to do that!”). Gabi’s satisfaction from such “authentic” gestures suggests that once people consume experiences that enable them to construct their fantasized identity, they soon realize that they’re still somehow dissatisfied: “the cycle of imagining ways to achieve satisfaction [through consumption], only to experience continued dissatisfaction is continually perpetuated” (Shankar & Fitchett, 2002). Nonetheless, this dissatisfaction did not deny Gabi the sense of being a “man of the world” that he gained by buying sex:

It’s a game, OK? I know. When you go to a stand-up comedy show and they make you laugh, you know that they’re trying to make you laugh, you know that it’s not real, it’s a joke, but you laugh anyway. You laugh. Laughter does something in your body […] The same thing here [with SFP]: you know it’s just a show, but if it’s a good-enough show and it moves you and it does something to your soul, then it’s fine. (Gabi, 53, divorced)

Gabi’s constant dialogue with the authenticity of his consumerist experience suggests that consumption opens up the possibility of “playing” with various personas. It enables consumers to project their imaginative and fantasized identity onto the experiences they are buying. In other words, it is through consumption that people buy the space in which to extend their self into imaginative, unfamiliar or unapproachable personas that are usually out of reach. We further suggest that it is through consumption that people can also buy the opportunity to remove the masks that they feel obliged to wear in their day-to-day lives. In other words, consumption enables people to display parts of their identity that are usually hidden, or disguised:

Once I pay, I know […] I can feel comfortable with myself because I’m, I’m not lost in the attempts to get her to like me, or to find a suitable date. I mean, I’m pretty lost in dates. I try to get them to like me and then I act weird, and I don’t really like myself that way. So, first of all it [paying for sex] releases me from that. I can just be me, as simple as that. I can just be me. (Efi, 50, single)

Discussion

In this study we sought to gain a deeper understanding of how consumerism shapes the identity construction processes of MPWS. Applying the theory of symbolic interaction (Blumer, 1966) and the concept of the extended self (Belk, 1988) offered novel insights into three dynamics of identity construction through sex-consumption: extending the self by assimilating products or experiences; extending the self through the purchasing process; and extending the self by consuming the imagined. These dynamics reveal a complex process by which MPWS assign different – and at times contradictory – meanings to their consumerist experiences and motivations for paying for sex, and to the purchasing process.

Previous studies have suggested that MPWS use consumerist notions to describe their experiences in SFP in a bid to neutralize the stigma associated with their behavior (Bounds et al., 2017; Tyler & Jovanovski, 2018). However, the findings of the present study support Pettinger’s (2011) contention that the consumerist narrative is more than just a defensive tactic used by MPWS to deflect social labeling of them as immoral and abusive. Rather, it is an essential dynamic of men’s identity construction through SFP. Our findings suggest that MPWS use the consumption of sex as a practice of self-discovery, and a means to answer the question, “Who am I?” Further, they use SFP to foster a sense of self-worth and to project a positive image to others (Mittal, 2006).

Although consumerism appears to be key to the understanding the identity dynamics of MPWS, to date this theoretical framework has rarely been used in research in this domain. Instead, MPWS and the practice of SFP are often discussed and studied through the theoretical lenses of patriarchy and of violence against women (Raymond, 2013), and of moral worth (Lahav-Raz et al., 2023). These perspectives offer important and nuanced understandings of MPWS and their involvement in the sex industry. Indeed, the blunt objectification of WPS by some participants in the present study support the validity of these theoretical notions.

That said, our findings also expand the understanding of objectification in the context of MPWS and SFP practices beyond feminist frameworks, by revealing objectification to be a central plank in the construction of self-identity through consumption. Unlike Belk’s (1988) assertion that objectification undermines consumers’ ability to extend their self-identity through consumption, we argue that it is actually through objectification of WPS that participants in this study felt able to extend their selves through consumption by fantasizing, desiring, and dreaming. Similarly, by focusing on the intra-psychic meanings of people-object relationships within consumerism, Woodward (2011) has suggested that people project particular meanings, fantasies, desires and emotions onto objects – and these objects are then used, played with, and assimilated into their selves. Our argument that objectification may play an important role in consumers’ identity construction processes by consuming human-related experiences or services does not, of course, legitimize or justify it. Rather, we are merely highlighting the potential contribution of further theorization of objectification within various consumerist contexts.

Finally, the theoretical framework of consumerism used in this study suggests that for some MPWS, sex-consumption is actually more about consumption than it is about sex. In other words, the MPWS in this study viewed SFP as just another market in which they consume as a means of self-expression, self-discovery, or to project a positive self-image. In that regard, MPWS are similar to most people in consumer society who extend their selves through consumption (Belk, 2004; Campbell, 2021). This understanding of the identity construction processes of MPWS as being strongly embedded in the socio-cultural context of consumerism is not at odds with past or other interpretations of MPWS and their actions. Rather, it adds much needed nuance and complexity to the understanding of this population and the social phenomenon of SFP. Therefore, the findings stress the importance of incorporating notions of ambiguity to the debate over sex-industry policies (de Vries et al., 2023). We call for the development of social policy that does not rely solely on criminal penalties or legalization, and offer social interventions that go beyond categorizing MPWS as either innocent consumers or abusive predators.

In conclusion, this study highlights the centrality of neo-liberal capitalist values in the self-identity of MPWS. The three dynamics of identity construction through consumption that we have identified illuminate how principles of consumerism translate into everyday practices of consumers in the sex market. Future studies should explore how notions of consumerism interact with social construction of gender and race in shaping the identity of MPWS. Thus, for example, research could apply consumerism theory to study the self-identity of men who pay men for sex. Finally, applying the theoretical framework of consumerism contributes to the understanding of MPWS beyond the simplistic binary view of SFP as being either socially acceptable “normative” behavior or an abusive act (Birch, 2015; Prior, 2022). We argue that these seemingly contradictory narratives are, in fact, complementary – and that MPWS should be understood through many social lenses, including consumerism, that shape their experiences, their lives, and their self-identity.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Additional information

Funding

The work was supported by the Israel Pollak fellowship program for excellence, Faculty of social science, Tel Aviv University.