That Man Behind the Curtain: Investigating the Sexual Online Dating Behavior of Men Who Have Sex With Men but Hide Their Same-Sex Sexual Attraction in Offline Surroundings

ABSTRACT

This study investigates how men who have sex with men (MSM) use chat and dating sites based on theories of stigma-related offline behavior and online self-disclosure. We hypothesize that hidden MSM (those who self-label as heterosexual or who hide their same-sex sexual attraction from family, friends, acquaintances, or a female romantic partner) differ from open MSM in how they behave on gay chat and dating sites and in offline gay venues. Drawing on a survey of 12,002 MSM, we show that hidden MSM tend to mask their identity on gay chat and dating sites while avoiding offline gay venues. They also focus more strongly on online sexual activities (e.g., masturbating during online chats) when using gay chat and dating sites. However, they spend the same amount of time on these sites, and they use them to initiate offline sexual encounters as often and as fast as open MSM.

KEYWORDS:

• Concealment
• Internet sexuality
• online dating
• online disinhibition
• self-disclosure
• sexual venues
• social networking sites
• stigma management

Notes

^1. By MSM we refer primarily to men who engage in same-sex sexual behavior. However, we also apply this term to men who are sexually attracted to men and who interact with other MSM in ways that include at least some sexual aspect (e.g., talking about sex between men) although they have not yet engaged in same-sex sexual behavior.

^2. The EMIS survey contained three respective questions: Identity (“Which of the following options best describes how you think of yourself?” with the response options Gay or homosexual, Bisexual, Straight or heterosexual, Any other term, and I don’t usually use a term), sexual orientation (“Who are you sexually attracted to?” with a 5-point scale ranging from Only to men to Only to women) and male sex partners (“When did you last have any kind of sex with a man (please include any sexual contact, not just anal intercourse?”) with an 8-point scale ranging from within the last 24 hours to never). To remain in the sample, a participant had to “provide evidence for homosexual desire, identity, or sex with men” (The EMIS Network, 2013, p. 28). “Respondents that were male but were sexually attracted to women only and thought of themselves as straight or heterosexual and never had sex with men” were excluded from the sample (The EMIS Network, 2013, p. 28).

^3. Data gained from the 2008 European Values Survey, which included the question “On this list are various groups of people. Could you please sort out any that you would not like to have as neighbors?” with “homosexuals” being one of 15 options. Data can be investigated in the GESIS Online Study Catalogue (http://zakat.gesis.org).

^4. Due to problems with language mapping, Switzerland had to be left out, despite the number of German speakers there.