The Good Father: Parental Expectations and Youth Sports

Abstract

Family life and expectations for parents have changed dramatically over the past two generations. In the United States these changes have been fuelled by a combination of factors, including a conservative emphasis on traditional family values and fathers as heads of households, a neo‐liberal emphasis on individualism and the need for fathers to take responsibility for the development of their children, a liberal feminist emphasis on gender equity in family life, and progressive ideas about the meaning of gender and sexuality. As a result of these factors mothers and fathers today are held responsible for the whereabouts and actions of their children 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This standard, never before used in any society as a baseline measure for good parenting, serves as a foundation for linking the character and achievements of children to the moral worth of parents. Because sports are activities in which a child’s success is visible and objectively measurable, and because fathers are more likely than mothers to have or claim expertise in sports, the development of athletic skills among children is often monitored by fathers who act as coaches, managers, agents, mentors, and advocates for their child athletes. Therefore, the involvement of fathers in youth sports is grounded in complex cultural changes and it has implications for families and father–child relationships. These implications are discussed in light of new expectations that connect the moral worth of parents to the success of their children.

Keywords:

• fatherhood
• family dynamics
• sports
• culture
• child athletes

Notes

1. Research shows that fathers spend more time with sons than daughters (Yeung et al., 1999; Lundberg & Rose, 2002), and fathers are likely more often involved directly with their sons’ sport participation than their daughters’ participation. However, men, including many fathers, play an active role in the sport participation of girls/daughters. I have no data on changes over time, but it is clear that fathers spend more time with their daughters in sports today because there are more sport opportunities available to girls. Fathers coach girls’ youth team sports more often than do mothers, even though there have been significant increases in the number and proportion of women/mothers who coach teams and serve as administrators in leagues (fixtures). But the local and fragmented organization of youth sports in the United States makes it difficult to obtain reliable data on these issues. However, as I speak about fathers in this paper, my comments apply to their relationships with sons and daughters.

2. In many cases, fathers and mothers provide some or all of the (volunteer) labour needed to initiate and/or maintain the organized youth sports programmes in which one or more of their children participate (see Chafetz & Kotarba, 1995; Thompson, 1999).

3. These were informal interviews conducted every February from 1998 through 2004 as part of a course project. As parents sat in the stands, sociology of sport course students introduced themselves and asked if they could talk with them about the ways they integrated their son’s hockey participation into their family lives. One of the last questions asked was how much money they estimated spending each year to support their son’s participation in hockey. Their sons were unique in that they played on teams that travelled to tournaments regularly in addition to playing local games and being on the ice for practices and open hockey time. An estimated 300 interviews were done during the six years, and financial estimates were received from over half of the parents interviewed.

4. Data in this study were collected in 1996 in a questionnaire mailed to a random sample of 1100 households with USA Swimming membership. A total of 767 questionnaires were usable, and data on parents and family life were analysed using structural equation modelling.