State business: gender, sex and marriage in Tajikistan

Abstract

This article examines the relation of the state to masculinity and sexuality by way of an exploration of the sexual problems of a young man and his wife in Tajikistan at the end of the Soviet era. It suggests that the regime's inattention to this kind of issue was bound up with the importance to the state of projecting appropriate versions of masculinity. It further posits the idea that the continued refusal of the independent Tajik state to offer appropriate treatments for sexual dysfunction is consistent with the image of modernity President Rahmon wishes to present to the world. The article shows that as masculinity discursively occupies the superior gender position, with men expected to dominate, the state is itself impotent to respond when they are, in fact, unable to do so in sexual practice. However, the myth of male dominance persists to the point that it may prevent women from seeing beyond their subordination and finding mutually beneficial solutions in their familial and sexual relationships.

Keywords:

• gender
• marriage
• masculinity
• sexualities
• the state

Acknowledgements

I should like to thank Sonja Plesset for her comments on an earlier version of this paper, as well as the other participants in the session of the ‘Sexualities in the Arab World’ conference held at Harvard University on 8 December 2007. I also want to thank John Heathershaw and three anonymous readers for their comments.

Notes

Most visible in attitudes towards gays in the military. Religion also plays a pivotal role in all of this and is simultaneously a potent weapon for states to use in social control (Jakobsen and Pellegrini 2003).

A taboo in some ways now lifted through the marketing of Viagra that has brought the issue on to the public stage, but done so through a technological fix rather than through meaningful attention to the issues concerned.

Altogether I spent some three years in Tajikistan, roughly half of every year from 1994 to early 2001 plus a few subsequent visits.

Ghamkhori grew out of a development project funded by Christian Aid of London, with additional support from the Tacis LIEN (Link Inter European NGOs) programme of the European Union. Established in 1997 in the Qurghonteppa region of Khatlon Oblast, it provides information on health matters, reproductive health services, and community-level education on social issues (see Harris 2005a, 2006a).

See Harris (2004) for an in-depth discussion of the honour-and-shame system in Tajikistan and of ayb.

In Tajikistan the marriage ceremony usually lasts several days (and nights) with the young couple at a certain point being sent to have sex, accompanied to the door of the bedroom by the wedding guests. Subsequently the couple is expected to stay with the groom's parents for at least the following 40 days and nights, irrespective of where they will subsequently live. As with Ali and Zulfia, in rural areas patrilocal residence is common. This can exacerbate problems as it allows young couples little private time together outside the bedroom and even there only at night.

While this may not keep boys from trying this, according to sex therapist Carol Boulware (http://www.psychotherapist.net/sextherapy/sex-therapy.htm) feelings of shame around it may even cause premature ejaculation later on by pushing them to finish quickly to avoid being caught. Some boys in the villages where Ghamkhori worked had sex with donkeys but this seemed to be confined to a very small number. It was practically impossible for the unmarried to find other sources of sexual outlet in those Khatlon villages at that time.

As I discovered during my own work in the villages near Qurghonteppa. A national survey carried out in the late 1990s found that over 99% of adult women in Tajikistan believed they had the right to choose their children's marriage partner (WHO 2000).

The current availability of pornographic videos would make it difficult to keep girls in such ignorance today. However, this story took place in the puritanical context of the Soviet Union.

And her brothers too.

According to older acquaintances of mine, in pre-Soviet times it was common to stone to death a daughter who had shamed her family, for instance by getting pregnant out of wedlock (see Harris 2004, p. 43).

This significant blow to masculinity is on a par with male rape, something also almost never alluded to or admitted although it is known to have occurred during the civil war.

While for obvious reasons there are no statistics on the numbers of young men unable to perform adequately, it seems likely there has been a recent upsurge. Since the increase in the trafficking of heroin from Afghanistan through Central Asia, drug addiction has also increased and impotence is one consequence of long-term use (Harris 2006b). According to Ghamkhori staff, addicted grooms have apparently started to take out their frustration at their failure to perform by attacks on their brides that at times have even killed them. Perhaps figuring out how to protect daughters from such a fate will lead to new ways of conceptualizing and dealing with the first night of marriage.

This attitude is not confined to Tajikistan. My research in many parts of the world shows it to be widespread. Even in the West men are often uncomfortable in acknowledging to their intimate partners an inability to perform appropriate masculinity, especially in relation to sexual prowess (Hite 1981). For more detailed information on this issue and on gender and sexuality in Tajikistan more generally see Harris (2004, p. 149ff, 2005a, 2005b).

Not all Tajiks insist on exhibiting the sheet but this family had apparently been prepared to do so.

This attitude is not confined to Tajikistan. During a research trip to Indonesia in the early 1990s, I was frequently asked by men how come I was travelling without my husband. Upon my once stating that I enjoyed this freedom, the man concerned immediately asked – ‘would you like to be free with me?’