Oyster and octopus: Choices, constraints and the couple

Abstract

In relation to the couple this paper explores two metaphors: the oyster and the octopus. The oyster represents choice and the octopus constraint. The views of different theorists on choices and constraints in relation to the individual and partnerships are outlined. Freud sees the process as internalized through the Oedipus complex. Jung favours the metaphor of the room and permitting space. Winnicott emphasizes the support given to the relationship of mother and child. Lacan introduces the law or the symbolic authority of the father into the discourse. It is suggested in accordance with Bion that an emotional storm is always created when two people interact.