How I Became a Psychoanalyst: A Journey in Quest of the Truth

ABSTRACT

In this article, I, a Japanese psychoanalyst, describe the various twists and turns I went through to reach psychoanalysis in the process of seeking the truth as well as what I experienced through psychoanalysis. Although this is a personal story, it indicates that there is a truth beyond cultural differences that cannot be reached without psychoanalysis. I learned the method of phenomenological psychopathology from Professor Tatossian in France and tried to come closer to the essential nature of the mind. However, I came across the thought of Jacques Lacan there and was fascinated. I also came to know the importance of Freud and Klein through Lacan. I received individual psychoanalysis from Dr. Doi, Dr. Kinugasa, and Miss Betty Joseph because I wanted to understand psychoanalysis. Although it was a short period, I was greatly influenced by my psychoanalysis experience with Miss Joseph. I present a part of the sessions and demonstrate that a direct contact with the alive unconscious phantasy in the here and now was pursued there. This experience was something that brought about not only liveliness, but also elements of anxiety and madness to my subsequent life. I state that the work of psychoanalysts is to always call into question one’s own blind spots and even your own existence, by being engaged in the movement of the living unconsciousness that appears in the here and now.

Acknowledgments

I thank my friends, Gerda Frijda and Jonathan Rousell, who read early drafts of this essay, for their encouraging comments.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Toyoaki Ogawa

Dr. Ogawa is Training and Supervising Analyst at JPS; and Professor, Department of Psychopathology and Psychotherapy, Graduate School of Medicine, Nagoya University.