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ABSTRACT
In this article, I describe how the interchange of giving and receiving is centrally implicated in the developmental/ethical journey from holding on to oneself toward a receptive embrace of a different Other. Since people’s lives are shaped by an inherent passion of offering one’s expressive contributions to the larger world, the challenge of the ethical turn requires a generous humility of receiving what others have to offer. When an individual has attained a sense of belonging because of being received himself/herself by significant persons, he/she is better able to mobilize the graciousness of welcoming the gifts of others. Finally, I emphasize the clinical import of the therapist being sufficiently open as a person so as to provide the patient with the opportunity and dignity to give of himself/herself as well.
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Peter Shabad
Peter Shabad, Ph.D., is Associate Professor, Northwestern University Medical School; Faculty, Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis; Faculty, Chicago Center for Psychoanalysis; and Author, Despair and The Return of Hope (2001). His new book, Seizing the Vital Moment: Passion, Shame, and Mourning, is in preparation.