Memory Keepers: A Narrative Study on Siblings Never Known

Abstract

Drawing on literature relevant to the impact of sibling death, the authors examined the invisible loss of siblings never known. This article presents findings of a phenomenological study of 15 adult siblings who “storied” the psychological presence and power of a deceased infant sibling never known but who acted as memory keepers for their unknown sibling. Transcriptions of the 15 interviews were analyzed usng NVivo software to support development of thematic categories. The initial 29 subthemes were collapsed into 3 overarching themes of personal loss/unacknowledged loss, continuing bonds/memory keeping, and sense-making. The participants' experiences reflect support for unaddressed and unacknowledged loss for the phenomenon of loss of an unknown sibling. The retrospective narratives echo their perceived roles as memory keepers of their unknown siblings. For many participants, the research process itself was the first recognition of a sense of loss.

This research was made possible through grant funding provided by Division of Social Work, University of Wyoming. We thank Dr. Virginia Conley for her extensive contributions to the development and implementation of the study, as well as to the analysis of the data. We authors also appreciate the unique and beneficial insight offered by Dr. Mona Schatz in the process of analyzing data. Additional acknowledgment is due to our graduate students, Joseph Marrazzo and Jenna Marquardt, for their tireless efforts and endless hours in entering transcripts into the software program and assisting in the thematic categorizing. Our heartfelt appreciation also goes to all adult siblings who shared their stories of their siblings whom they never knew in this world but who have served as their deceased siblings' memory keepers.