Mind and mourning: The primacy of “we” in complicated grief

Abstract

Standard models of complicated grief rely on a self-other divided mind that reflects the physical separateness of individuals. In these models, grief persists for those mourners who cannot reorganize self-and-other mental representations or adapt to identity changes after loss. However, advances in cognitive science indicate that relationships are often processed via distributed social-cognitive coding whereby individuals together form a psychologically extended common mind. I propose a novel “we” hypothesis in which shared representations, rather than self-other distinctions, shape the mind for a subgroup of mourners with complicated grief. Recognition of “we-experiences” in mourning can enhance grief theory, research, and practice.

Acknowledgments

I am extremely grateful to Lauren Breen for her helpful improvements to the manuscript. I appreciate the thoughtful comments provided by three anonymous reviewers.