Overcoming our own pride in the treatment of narcissistic patients

Abstract

The philosopher Seneca once said that we spend our whole lives preparing to die. Far from a morbid statement, I see this as expressing the truth that all human beings spend their whole lives overcoming their narcissism. We have to make a significant enough investment in the lives of others, and in ongoing life, so that the loss of our own, personal lives is bearable to us. How can we help our patients overcome their excessive narcissism? The analyst must be a person who has, to some degree, overcome some part of his or her own narcissistic issues. This means that he or she values human life more than pride. Our ability to make the meaning of the patient's life a priority is a key part of the treatment. In how he or she behaves, the analyst must embody the principle that the quality of a life is more important than the appearance of success or failure.

Keywords:

• narcissism
• pride
• shame
• purpose