The Recipe for Being a Good Military Wife: How Military Wives Managed OIF/OEF Deployment

Abstract

Interviews with 25 military wives to elicit their lived experience of Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom deployment found two main themes: the recipe for being a good military wife and managing split loyalties. Military wives' experience reflected a disenfranchised existence. Their stress was exacerbated by the reality of the composition of their marital relationship—a couple–military threesome—that they bore in silence. Their marginalization did not deter them from supporting their husbands the best they could, reflecting their inherent strength and resilience. The wives had a recipe that helped them manage the stresses inherent in deployment. Research and clinical implications are discussed.

Keywords:

• military wives
• Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom deployment
• combat deployment
• qualitative research
• feminist epistemology
• military couples
• family therapy
• couple therapy
• marital therapy
• feminist family therapy

Acknowledgments

Support for this research was provided by funding from a Kansas State University Small Research grant and a Kansas State University College of Human Ecology SRO grant.