Lying in psychotherapy: Why and what clients don’t tell their therapist about therapy and their relationship

Abstract

Objectives: The primary aim of this study was to investigate one facet of a survey of client lying in psychotherapy, that which focused on the nature, motivation, and extent of client dishonesty related to psychotherapy and the therapeutic relationship. Method: A total of 547 adult psychotherapy patients reported via an online survey, incorporating both quantitative and qualitative methodologies, what topics they were dishonest about in therapy, and the extent of and reasons for their dishonesty. Results: Ninety-three percent of respondents reported having lied to their therapist, and 72.6% reported lying about at least one therapy-related topic. Common therapy-related lies included clients’ pretending to like their therapist’s comments, dissembling about why they were late or missed sessions, and pretending to find therapy effective. Most extreme in their extent of dishonesty were lies regarding romantic or sexual feelings about one’s therapist, and not admitting to wanting to end therapy. Typical motives for therapy-related lies included, “I wanted to be polite,” “I wanted to avoid upsetting my therapist,” and “this topic was uncomfortable for me.” Conclusions: Clients reported concealing and lying about therapy-relevant material at higher rates than previous research has indicated. These results suggest the need for greater therapist attention to issues of client trust and safety.

Keywords:

• self-disclosure
• psychotherapy process
• psychotherapy relationship
• client variables
• therapist training
• lying

Acknowledgments

We gratefully acknowledge the contributions of excellent research assistants – Melanie Love. Laura Curren, Lauren Grabowski, Mona Khaled, Lama Khouri, Veronica Ozog, and Katelyn Zmigrodski.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Notes

Portions of this paper are based on a presentation at the Annual Meeting of the American Psychological Association, Washington, DC August, 2014.