Finding Meaning in the Loss of a Child: Journeys of Chaos and Quest

Abstract

The death of a child can be one of the worst things to happen to a family. Despite the significance of such a powerful event, parental loss is an area that has not been fully explored in the literature. This study uses narrative methodology to explore the grief experienced by 10 parents before and after the death of their child. We found four primary tensions in the stories written by parents: a time of chaos and control; disruption and normalcy in family life; heartening and disheartening experiences with others; and senselessness and meaning in death. The analysis illuminates the personal, familial, and social nature of grief. Parents grieve the loss of their child, but they are also deeply affected by changes in family and social relationships. The discussion elaborates on the transformation that some parents reveal as they move from “chaos” to “quest” narratives, and the role of narratives in health and healing.

AKCNOWLEDGMENT

We thank the parents who participated in this study for being willing to write out their narratives for us; we have truly learned from their stories.

Notes

¹Andrew, a twin, died at the age of 5 weeks as a result of pulmonary interstitial emphysema, grade 4 brain bleed, sepsis, and renal failure.

²Jamie Lynn died at 2 years and 10 months of trisomy 18.

³Jane died at the age of 2 years and 9 months of trisomy 18.

⁴Craig died at 16 months from an undiagnosed degenerative neurological disease.

⁵Steven died at 5 days from brain death.

⁶Alan died at 17 years old of a malignant brain tumor.

⁷Michael died at 12 years old of neuroaxonal dystrophy.

⁸James died at 7 years old of rhabdomyosarcoma.