The Suffering of Passion: Metamorphoses and the Embrace of the Stranger

Abstract

In this paper I use the concept of the “suffering of passion” to explore how human beings endure personal metamorphoses. I suggest that the affirmation of passion, which is both self-interested and self-surrendering, is necessary in order to embark on the journey from self-sameness to otherness. Inasmuch as this transitional path simultaneously entails the “embrace of the stranger” of one's own growth and of the subjectivity of another person, the suffering of passion is both a developmental and ethical achievement. The mutual interchange of giving and receiving, mediated by gratitude and generosity, inspires the passion necessary to construct a relational bridge of conscience from self-sameness to otherness. When the mutuality of giving and receiving breaks down, shame may lead to the negation and disowning of one's passion. The resulting inversion of passion into passivity may then culminate in a narcissistic loyalty to “one's own kind.” A case vignette of a young man is presented to illustrate the difficulty of suffering the passion of one's own growth.

Notes

An early version of this paper was first presented at the IARPP Conference in Athens, Greece in 2007.

¹Even though a number of people believe that it is not possible to love another person whom one does not respect, love and respect may also be seen as antithetical concepts. When family members and friends make “interventions” for addicted individuals, for example, their actions may be informed by loving intentions, but in deciding what is best for another person and bypassing the addicted individual's freedom of self-determination, they may not be showing respect for that person.