Unexpected Arguments

Abstract

An unexpected argument is one that takes its target by surprise, possibly leaving the person feeling attacked. We conducted two studies to provide what we believe to be the first empirical description of this phenomenon. Our results showed that the role distinction between surpriser and surprisee significantly differentiated the tactics used in the “unexpected” portions of the conversations. However, there was essentially no difference in personalization of the episode from role to role. Furthermore, distinguishable topic management patterns appeared in our data. In terms of emotions, surprisers were more aggressive, angrier, and more thankful than surprisees, and surprisees were more uncertain, worried, surprised, and careful in their statements. Unexpected arguments seemed often to be doing identity work. There was evidence that some people may be habitual surprisers.

Keywords:

• Argument
• Interpersonal Arguing
• Interpersonal Communication
• Conflict

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.