Veterans-by-proxy: A conceptual framework of ambiguous loss among children of combat veterans

ABSTRACT

There are tens of millions of children (youth and adult) of parents who are veterans. These individuals can experience traumatic injury alongside the parent who is a combat veteran. It is a parallel process called “veterans-by-proxy.” A proxy is an individual that acts on behalf of another individual. The proxy witnesses how combat traumatizes their parent and vicariously experience the trauma themselves. When a proxy suffers secondary trauma, ambiguous loss, and insecure attachment, one or more ego functions fail to adequately develop. This article proposes a conceptual framework of the proxy’s loss as it relates to the parent’s trauma and discusses research-based resiliency-focused interventions critical to healing the relationship between the proxy and the parent who is a combat veteran.

KEYWORDS:

• Ambiguous loss
• children of veterans
• insecure attachment
• military families
• resilience
• secondary trauma
• veterans