More than Surface Tension: Femmes in Families

SUMMARY

This article raises questions about the lack of scholarly focus on butch/femme couples and their absence in studies of lesbian couples and family-building. In an era of lesbian marriage and lesbian parenting, femme and butch coupling and family-building remain unspoken topics within family studies, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT)–specific research. Moving beyond a focus on eroticism within the femme/butch couple, questions about how gender expression impacts other relationships dynamics, including the maintenance of long-term relationships, power and intimacy, domestic chores and child-rearing, are raised. The femme role in “homemaking,” that is, building and maintaining families, especially needs further exploration.

KEYWORDS:

• Butch/femme couples
• lesbian relationships
• butch
• femme
• gender
• lesbian
• research
• lesbian families
• lesbian couples
• LGBT research

Acknowledgments

Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW, CASAC, is the founder of Choices Counseling and Consulting (www.choicesconsulting.com) in Albany, New York, offering family therapy for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. She is on the adjunct faculties of S.U.N.Y. Albany School of SocialWelfare and Vermont College of the Union Institute and University. She is the author of The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide (Penguin Press, 2004) and Transgender Emergence: Therapeutic Guidelines for Working with Gender-Variant People and their Families (Haworth Press, 2004).