“I always expected to have grandchildren some day”: The long road from sense of loss to gradual acceptance

ABSTRACT

This paper explores, through the use of narrative data, ways in which older parents respond to the realization that they never will become grandparents. Stated reactions range from unresolved grief and anger to happily finding substitute ties to relief in having a retirement free of caretaking and gift giving expectations. While the research literature and popular media focus on the importance of grandparent roles from the perspective of the child, little attention is paid to either the importance of this role to the grandparents themselves or the magnitude of grandparent deprivation of this role in the lives of older adults.

KEYWORDS:

• Grandparenting
• role deprivation
• infertility
• generativity
• grief