The dichotomy of containing trauma amidst joy: New life and a neonatal death; the experience of working with the parents of twins on the NICU

Abstract

This paper describes the work with a family of premature twins in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), where one twin was born seriously ill and died within a few days. An overview of literature related to the birth of a sick premature baby, trauma and mourning with twins, and the impact of loss on the surviving twin, forms the first section. Informed by psychoanalytic theory, the author explores the painful work with the parents through detailed observation, noting particularly the difference between the father's capacity to stay in touch with the pain of loss and mother's denial and preoccupation with the healthy twin.

Keywords:

• NICU
• parents
• twins
• trauma
• death
• containment

Acknowledgements

The author wishes to record her thanks to Annette Mendelsohn for her inspiration and supervision of the work on the neonatal unit; also to Ricky and Louise Emanuel for their ongoing teaching and supervision.