Shame Behind the Masks: The Parents' Perspective on Their Sons' Suicide

Abstract

Suicides are more frequent among boys than girls. A tentative, conceptual model of processes behind suicide among boys and young men (aged 12–25), grounded in their parents' views, is presented. Extensive interviews with parents in 33 cases of suicide were analyzed using grounded-theory methodology. Family alliances, coalitions, and secrets interacted with the boy concealing problems and “hiding behind a mask,” while the professionals did not understand the emergency. Four interwoven paths to suicide were found: the boy was hunted and haunted, addicted, depressed, or psychotic. Different forms of shame were hidden behind the masks of “the clown,” “the warrior,” and “the prince.” Future preventive programs need to address barriers to communication among all parties involved.

Keywords:

• barriers to help
• boys and young men
• grounded theory
• suicide
• suicide prevention

Notes

Note. Frequencies of cases in each category separately for mothers and fathers (labeled following Knox et al., 2006): General: ≥90% of the cases (at least 26 mothers and 21 fathers); Typical: ≥50% to <90% (14–25 mothers and 12–20 fathers); Variant: ≥20% to <50% (6–13 mothers and 5–11 fathers); Rare: <20% (2–5 mothers and 2–4 fathers).