The Dying Mother

Abstract

In a culture where concerted attempts are being made to postpone or circumvent inevitable processes of human life, the poignancy of a mother diagnosed with cancer provides a platform from which to explore broader cultural understandings of mothering. This paper examines four films that contend with the theme of mothering with terminal cancer. Despite being made decades apart and for different audiences, the films share seemingly unchanging representations of mothers. They are portrayed as having a choice between dying as “good” mothers or risking being labeled as unfit mothers. Instead of using cancer as an opportunity to become better selves (as expected of others who are dealing with cancer), dying mothers are expected to find better selves for their children. In the process they must learn the difficult lesson that they are required to both sacrifice all for their children and acknowledge being imperfect as mothers, that is, being replaceable as mothers. Young mothers, in particular, are assumed to be incapable of being good mothers.

Keywords:

• mothering
• cancer
• film
• gender
• cultural representations

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The research for this paper was funded by a Social Sciences & Humanities Research Council Operating Grant titled ‘Between Life and Death: The Contradictions of Cancer Survivorship’ (PI: Kirsten Bell). I would like to sincerely thank Kirsten Bell for encouraging me to undertake this analysis, supporting its progress and providing invaluable feedback on earlier drafts of the paper.

Notes

1. That Ann's actions are transgressive becomes apparent in audience responses to the film, with many viewers and reviewers reacting extremely negatively to Ann's actions, describing her as “a cruel egocentric” (Roger Ebert 2003) for wanting to experience being with another man and hiding the diagnosis from her family (see reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and viewer comments on the Internet Movie Database, IMDb, for example). Though checking items off one's “bucket list” is a key motif in cancer films in other contexts (i.e. The Bucket List), reviewers' responses to this film suggest that this is less acceptable when the cancer patient is a mother with young children.