Orgasm and lesbian sociality

Abstract

Orgasm is often seen as the most sensational aspect of sex, and, seemingly, it never ceases to fascinate. The female and the male orgasm hold different positions in research as well as in public debate, and the orgasm has been object of discussion within the feminist movement. This article is about sex and especially the female orgasm related to difference and power issues that feminism has raised over the last 30 years. In an attempt to bring new arguments and perspectives into account, empirical material, mainly consisting of interviews with lesbians, is analysed. This article discusses power issues in lesbian sex, and the main focus is on differences and power connected to the production of orgasmic sex. By extension of the analysis the author raises questions to be discussed in a heterosexual context.

Notes

See Bolsø (2002) for a further discussion of a deconstructive/discursive approach, and the issue of generalization.

… =  speaker stops before the sentence's finished. (…) =  part of a quote is omitted.

‘Fitte’ in Norwegian.

Fisting (fist‐fucking, handballing) is the term for inserting the whole hand or fist into the vagina or anus. For many associated with gay male practice, but known through history as an occult discipline of all sexualities (Schramm‐Evans, 1995).

Here language fails, since ‘wonderful lover’ would usually be a term denoting a sexually competent man. The words that describes the sexually active and competent seem to slip in the encounter between women.

In heterosexual pornography written by and for women, a relatively new phenomenon, one can also see this. See, for instance, Opening acts (Cunningham 2001) in the Black Lace series from Virgin Books. The same line of reasoning could be used on this material.

Biological and cultural aspects of sex interact in specific ways in lesbian orgasmic simultaneity as compared to heterosexual discourse on orgasmic simultaneity. There is a possibility of reproduction in heterosexual coitus, and vaginal penetration holds the symbolic position as the thing one does in REAL sex. Vaginal penetration is an important part of lesbian sexual practice. However, it is not seen as particularly important in the production of an orgasm. Space prevents me from elaborating on issues of symbolic and physical power in penetration.

This should not be confused with sm play, since GN and her lover do not negotiate and agree. For the debate on lesbian sm related to feminism, see Califia & Sweeney (1996); Linden et al. (1982); Soble (1997).

I do not refer to an interview transcription here. I had a conversation with GN after the research interview to discuss more concretely what the difficulty she refers to in the interview could consist of. I made two pages of hand‐written notes from the conversation.

This does not mean that the play on the masculine–feminine distinction lost its symbolic significance between women. It is still important (Bolsø, 2002). As a social representation, however, the butch–femme couple disappeared from public in the 1970s. Most of the internationally cited literature about the butch–femme dynamics comes from USA (see, for instance, Nestle, 1987, 1992; Feinberg, 1993; Kennedy & Davis, 1993). Some will say that butches and femmes still are a minority within the minority. I see the butch–femme couple as a historically specific social and sexual relation between women, woven into the then contemporary understandings and practices of sex and gender. Today, the significance of butch–femme is most of all connected to the symbolic sphere of the erotic. It represents in my perception a symbolic configuration that is available for women to sexually play on.

The Danish ethnographer Karin Lützen calls it a ‘magic moment’ when women suddenly realize their desire for other women (1988).