Longitudinal associations between attachment, differentiation of self, and couple sexual and relational outcomes

Abstract

We explored longitudinal associations between attachment, differentiation, relational satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction and desire among 286 married couples to see which of the two differing domains of attachment and differentiation of self best predict couple relationship outcomes. We observed that baseline attachment variables did not significantly predict couple sexual outcomes a year later while differentiation variables did. Specifically, husbands’ emotional cutoff predicted decreased husbands’ sexual desire and wives’ emotional reactivity predicted decreased wives’ sexual desire. Additionally, wives’ emotional cutoff predicted increased wives’ avoidant attachment and husbands’ avoidant attachment predicted decreased wives’ emotional cutoff. Implications for practitioners are discussed.

Lay Summary: We explored how attachment to a partner and one’s sense of self/autonomy while in a relationship predict change in couples’ relational and sexual satisfaction and sexual desire. Only a poorer sense of self predicted changes, specifically decreases in sexual desire. Nurturing a sense of self may strengthen couple sexual relationships.

Keywords:

• differentiation of self
• attachment theory
• couples
• sexual satisfaction
• sexual desire

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

David B. Allsop

David B. Allsop is a PhD student in psychology and neuroscience within the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University. His primary research focus is healthy sexual relationships in long-term committed relationships over the life course, primarily in terms of how couples have healthy and satisfying sexual relationships during times of heightened stress (e.g., transition to parenthood—pregnancy, infertility; pregnancy loss; children leaving the home, unemployment, illness, covid-19).

Amber A. Price

Amber A. Price is a PhD student in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University with a research focus on self and identity in the context of intimate relationships. Specific areas of research interest include differentiation of self, sense of self, authenticity, self-determination theory, emotional intimacy, and couple relationship and sexual well-being.

Veronica Hanna-Walker

Veronica Hanna-Walker is a PhD student in Human Development and Family Sciences at the University of Connecticut. Her primary research focus is on overall sexual identity development within the context of adolescence, emerging adulthood, and romantic relationships. Specific areas of research interests include development of sexual identity in LGBTQ + individuals and its association with mental health and the development of the meaning of sex, sexual possible selves, sexual self-schema, and sexual identity development statuses.

Chelom E. Leavitt

Chelom Leavitt earned her PhD at Penn State. She is a professor at Brigham Young University where she researches mindfulness and sexuality. Her recent specific research topics include women’s sexual functioning and sexual mindfulness.

Emily H. Milius

Emily Milius received her bachelor’s degree in Family Life from Brigham Young University. Her research interests include relationship education (including sexual education), sexual mindfulness, sexual functioning across different age groups, and the impact of sexual trauma on relationships.

Shayla M. Driggs

Shayla M. Driggs graduated from Brigham Young University with a bachelor’s degree in Family Life: Family Studies. Her future research interests include comparative couple and family therapy methods and outcomes research.