Between the idea and the reality: A study of the counselling experiences of bereaved people who sense the presence of the deceased

Abstract

There have been many theories of the process of loss and bereavement, from Freud, to the present day. Early theories of bereavement described a process which, following various stages and associated tasks, ended at the relinquishment of the bond to the deceased. In more recent years theories have taken different directions, identifying how bereaved people re-learn life, recreate biographies, and continue relationships to the deceased. Some research studies of bereavement have investigated the counsellors’ perspective, but there are very few studies of the client's experience and most studies have focussed on outcomes of counselling. This qualitative study, using semi-structured interviews, provides an insight into the bereaved client's perspective on the content and process of their counselling experiences. Taking as its focus the client's sense of the presence of the deceased, this study aimed to identify whether or how counsellors facilitate exploration of this experience and which theories they use in client work. The main finding is that 80% of the counsellors were not perceived by participants to have worked with them satisfactorily in relation to their sense of presence of the deceased or in relation to the story of the death itself.

Keywords:

• Bereavement
• counselling
• sense of presence
• telling the story