Abstract
This paper is the record of a reflexive process which attempts to understand the meaning of my resistance to psychodynamic therapy. Through the method of reflexive research process and using a narrative style, I explore how repressed experiences from an abusive childhood were recalled to my conscious mind, how I began to understand the transference and its effect on the therapeutic relationship and finally how I came to recognize the resistance and appreciate the potential contained within such understanding. The paper concludes with a brief description of the ways in which this experience has influenced my practice.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank all those who have been involved in the creation of this paper and who have encouraged me throughout the process. In particular I would like to thank my therapist for giving me a safe space to repeat and remember, my tutor John Lees who first taught me to question and reflect and my husband David who believed all along that I could do it!