‘To Be That Self Which One Truly Is’: Trans Experiences and Rogers’ Theory of Personality

ABSTRACT

In recent years, the question of what is best for trans individuals has been hotly debated. This paper takes Rogers’ Theory of Personality and explores it alongside the experiences of trans individuals so as to add a Person-Centered perspective to the discourse. It is grounded in an understanding of the distress of not being oneself and explores in detail the barriers trans individuals can face on their journey to authenticity. Many of these barriers are societal attitudes that become internalized as conditions of worth. The most potent remedy to such conditions are the same for trans people as the rest of humanity: unconditional prizing, freedom to move in any direction and a trust in an individual as the expert in themselves. While many of us may apply these Rogerian attitudes to all our clients, there is no harm and great benefit to be found in explicitly reviewing them with regard to trans experiences. This paper reaffirms the great benefit of the person-centered approach in freeing us all to be more ourselves and reminds us of our responsibility to shape a society where everyone is afforded the greatest opportunity to live without conditionality or discrimination.

Ces dernières années, la question de savoir ce qui est le mieux pour les personnes trans a été vivement débattue. Cet article s’appuie sur la théorie de la personnalité de Rogers et l’explore en regard des expériences des personnes trans afin d’ajouter une perspective centrée sur la personne au débat. Il est fondé sur une compréhension de la détresse de ne pas être soi-même et explore en détail les obstacles auxquels les individus trans peuvent être confrontés dans leur cheminement vers l’authenticité. Bon nombre de ces obstacles sont des attitudes sociétales qui deviennent intériorisées en tant que conditions de valeur. Le remède le plus puissant à de telles conditions est le même pour les personnes trans que pour le reste de l’humanité: la reconnaissance inconditionnelle de la valeur personnelle, la liberté de se développer en n’importe quelle direction et une confiance dans l’individu en tant qu’expert de lui-même. Bien que beaucoup d’entre nous puissent appliquer ces attitudes rogériennes à leurs clients, il n’y a aucun mal et grand avantage à les examiner explicitement en ce qui concerne les expériences trans. Cet article réaffirme le grand apport de l’Approche centrée sur la personne libérant la possibilité d’être davantage soi-même et nous rappelle notre responsabilité dans la construction d’une société où chacun a la plus grande opportunité de vivre sans conditionnalité ni discrimination.

In den vergangenen Jahren wurde die Frage heiss diskutiert, was das Beste für Trans-Personen ist. Dieser Artikel nimmt Rogers’ Theorie der Persönlichkeit und untersucht sie parallel zu den Erfahrungen von Trans-Personen, um damit eine personzentrierte Perspektive zum Diskurs hinzuzufügen. Dieses Vorgehen begründet sich aus dem Verständnis, welcher Stress es ist, wenn man nicht sich selbst sein kann. Dabei werden im Detail die Barrieren untersucht, welchen Trans-Personen auf ihrem Weg zu Authentizität ausgesetzt sein können. Viele dieser Barrieren sind gesellschaftliche Haltungen, die als Bedingungen für Wertschätzung internalisiert wurden. Das wirksamste Mittel gegen solche Bedingungen ist das gleiche für Trans-Personen wie für den Rest der Menschheit: bedingungsloses Wertschätzen; die Freiheit, sich in jegliche Richtung bewegen zu können sowie das Vertrauen in das Individuum als Fachperson für sich selbst. Viele von uns wenden diese Rogers’schen Haltungen auf alle Klienten an. Dennoch schadet es nicht, ist vielmehr von grossem Nutzen, wenn wir sie explizit neu auf Trans-Erfahrungen anwenden. Dieser Artikel unterstreicht den grossen Nutzen für den Personzentrierten Ansatz, uns frei mehr uns selbst sein zu lassen und erinnern uns an unsere Verantwortung, eine Gesellschaft zu gestalten, die alle bestmöglich ohne Bedingungen oder Diskriminierung leben lässt.

En los últimos años, se ha debatido acaloradamente la cuestión de qué es lo mejor para las personas trans. Este artículo toma la Teoría de la Personalidad de Rogers y la explora junto con las experiencias de las personas trans para agregar una perspectiva centrada en la persona al discurso. Se basa en la comprensión de la angustia de no ser uno mismo y explora en detalle las barreras que las personas trans pueden enfrentar en su viaje hacia la autenticidad. Muchas de estas barreras son actitudes sociales que se internalizan como condiciones de valor. El remedio más potente para tales condiciones es el mismo para las personas trans que para el resto de la humanidad: valoración incondicional, libertad para moverse en cualquier dirección y confianza en un individuo como experto en sí mismo. Si bien muchos de nosotros podemos aplicar estas actitudes rogerianas a todos nuestros clientes, no hay ningún daño y un gran beneficio al revisarlos explícitamente con respecto a las experiencias trans. Este documento reafirma el gran beneficio del enfoque centrado en la persona para liberarnos a todos para ser más nosotros mismos y nos recuerda nuestra responsabilidad de dar forma a una sociedad en la que todos tengan la mayor oportunidad de vivir sin condicionalidad ni discriminación.

Ser Quem Verdadeiramente Somos: Experiências Trans e a Teoria da Personalidade de Rogers

Nos últimos anos, a questão do que é melhor para os indivíduos trans tem sido muito debatida. Este artigo pega na Teoria da Personalidade de Rogers e explora-a lado-a-lado com as experiências dos indivíduos trans de modo a adicionar uma perspectiva centrada na pessoa ao discurso. Fundamenta-se na compreensão da angústia de não ser quem se é e explora em pormenor as barreiras que os indivíduos trans podem enfrentar na sua jornada rumo à autenticidade. Muitas dessas barreiras são atitudes sociais que se interiorizam como condições de valor. O remédio mais potente para tais condições é o mesmo para as pessoas trans e para o resto da humanidade: recompensa incondicional, liberdade para se mover em qualquer direção e uma confiança no indivíduo como o especialista em si. Apesar de muitos de nós possivelmente aplicarmos estas atitudes rogerianas a todos os nossos clientes, não há nenhum prejuízo e há grande benefício a ser encontrado em revê-las explicitamente no que diz respeito a experiências trans. Este artigo reafirma o grande benefício da abordagem centrada na pessoa em libertar-nos para sermos mais nós mesmos e recorda-nos a nossa responsabilidade de construir uma sociedade onde todos têm a grande oportunidade de viver sem condicionalismos ou discriminação.

KEYWORDS:

• Transgender
• theory of personality
• queer theory

Introduction: the need for authenticity

Carl Rogers (1961, p. 108) hypothesized that despite the ‘bewildering […] multiplicity’ of problems with which clients appear to present, ‘there is perhaps only one problem’. He proposed that the core issue that all clients are grappling with is ‘who am I, really? … How can I become myself?’ (ibid., p. 108). Establishing becoming oneself as the fundamental desire of humanity, Rogers (1961, p. 110) contrasted this with the most common human despair, which is ‘to be another than [oneself]’. Rogers (1980, pp. 116–117) theorized that when someone is unconditionally prized and empathically heard by a congruent therapist there is freedom ‘to be the true, whole person’. In other words, when someone feels truly accepted, they are able to be more authentic (Joseph, 2016). The person-centered approach is underpinned by a fundamental trust in the direction in which humans develop when provided with nourishing conditions. Rogers (1980) believed that when humans experience prizing and empathy, their tendency is toward growth and flourishing. This means that when there is freedom to move in any direction, an organism chooses the direction which constitutes ‘the good life’ (ibid., p.186–187). Some examples of growthful directions include moving away from facades, ‘oughts’ and pleasing others and toward complexity, being a process and openness to experience (Rogers, 1961). Rogers (1961) rejected the notion that allowing individuals be their authentic selves unleashes their inner monster. Rather, he believed that ‘fully to be one’s own uniqueness as a human being is not […] a process which would be labeled bad’ (ibid., p. 178).

For some people, the answer to ‘who am I, really?’ is at least in part answered, ‘I am trans’. Trans coming out stories often tell of peeling back a mask, rejecting who one feels one should be, and ceasing living to meet others’ expectations (Lee, 2015), aligning closely with Rogers (1961) growthful directions. Some trans people report a journey of self-discovery and a subsequent need to be themselves despite social pressures otherwise (Moolchaem et al., 2015). Being trans has been described as ‘living [one’s] authentic truth’ (Dobson, 2019, p. 2). Transitioning has even been referred to as ‘self-actualisation’ (Lovelock, 2017, p. 450). As such, transness can be seen as an expression of ‘that self which one truly is’ (Rogers, 1961, p. 166). Despite this, the dominant cultural narrative maintains that the direction trans people take is wrong and that their emergent identity is faulty (Hope, 2019). It is regularly argued that trans people should not be allowed to transition (Hope, 2019). In particular, there is highly vocal resistance to supporting children who identify as trans, founded on the belief that acceptance will encourage children toward a self that is ‘wrong’, and that they should be shown a ‘better way’ and be shaped to be cis (ibid., p. 73). Such views clearly contradict the humanistic philosophy that forms the foundation of Rogers’ theories, and as such the person-centered approach has been offered as an antithesis to the societal beliefs that gender diversity is disordered and that trans people can’t be trusted with their own lives (Livingstone, 2008).

The medical model is the dominant lens through which trans lives are understood in society. The DSM-5 diagnoses trans people with ‘gender dysphoria’; the ICD-10 labels ‘gender incongruence’ (Hope, 2019, p. 51). While this term is used to pathologise being trans, it alludes to the Rogerian concept of incongruence, which is a discrepancy between the perceived self and the organismic experience (Rogers, 1959). Rogers (1959) understanding of incongruence can be used to dramatically reimagine where much of the problem lies for trans people. For many trans people, a large amount of their incongruence is a result of the transprejudice they have internalized from society (Hope, 2019; Lee, 2015). Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality explored in great depth the effects of conditional regard, the growing need to be authentic, and the reorganization of self that can occur when the two collide. The current paper sets out to explore trans experiences through the lens of this theory. It first examines the widespread negative attitudes toward trans people that may be internalized as conditions of worth. It then explores how such conditions of worth can lead trans individuals to an incongruence between their true self and their sense of self. Lastly, it focusses on how unconditional positive regard can liberate trans people to be more authentic. It concludes that when trans people are freer to be themselves, they are more congruent. As such, when a trans individual moves to greater symbolize that part of themself, this should be seen as a move toward wholeness and flourishing rather than rebuked as a shift toward brokenness or pathology.

The actualizing tendency: the drive for authenticity

Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that every infant is born with an intrinsic actualizing tendency that motivates them to maintain and grow themselves. It maintained that humans are born complete as a gestalt and behave as such at the beginning of their infancy. This means that infants start out with a solely internal locus of evaluation: they believe their organismic experience is reality. They do not discriminate against their experience or judge or value it: they have no sense that who they are is right or wrong, it simply is. The actualizing tendency later directs a person back from incongruence to wholeness and integration (Wilkins, 2013, as cited in Cooper et al., 2013) when they receive the necessary conditions for change, such as prizing and empathy (Rogers, 1957). When Rogers spoke of being the self that one truly is, he did not suppose that the ‘real self’ was separate or hidden, rather he asserted that the authentic self was simply a more congruent version of the operating personality (Cooper et al., 2013).

The pervasive notion that trans people are born broken (MacKinnon, 2018) is at odds with Rogers (1959) theory of human nature. If one accepts Rogers (1959) supposition that humans are born complete, it follows that this includes trans people. That is not to say that individuals are born trans – that is a paper in its own right and for now we may assume the jury is out on that matter. However, individuals are born without a sense that being trans is a problem. An individual starts out open to all aspects of their organismic experience, and are as such they are congruent (Rogers, 1959). Some transprejudiced campaigners equate the organism with biology and assert that one’s biological sex is one’s organismic self (Anderson, 2018). This misunderstanding of the organismic essentializes gender identity. For some, gender is experienced as fluid throughout the lifetime (Gosling, 2018). When valuing transness as an organismic, authentic identity, it is key to avoid similarly essentialising gender. What is to be prized is not transness as a destination, but personal power to embrace and express one’s gender identity even in the times it differs from that assigned at birth. Another transprejudiced argument is that people are being made trans by society (Hope, 2019). This paper will illustrate that far from making individuals trans, societal attitudes create multitudinous barriers to individuals expressing their gender diversity. As a participant in a study by Turban (2019) expressed, ‘if I am depressed or anxious, it’s likely not because I have issues with my gender identity, but because everyone else does’. We will now explore the societal transprejudice that leads to the development of conditions of worth that can present a barrier to trans people being their organismic selves.

Transprejudice and conditions of worth: a threat to authenticity

Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that once an infant develops an external locus of evaluation, societal attitudes come into their awareness. It theorized that when a child becomes self-aware, their experience becomes internally symbolized as ‘self-experience’ (Rogers, 1959, p. 223). When children then express their self-experience to others, they materialize a ‘concept of self’ (ibid.). Rogers (1959) theorized that at this stage there is a growing need for the conveyed self to be regarded positively by others, thus children begin to favor being liked over being true to their organismic experience. Children internalize the ways in which others value them and this becomes their ‘self-regard’ (Rogers, 1959, p. 224), meaning they value themselves by external standards even when they are alone. The individual is no longer an organized whole, but a fractured, incongruent self, torn between who they are and who they feel they should be. It has thus been argued that while appreciating the presence of an actualizing tendency, we must also be aware of the cultural constraints on individuals’ ability to actualize (Moreno-Lopez, 2018, as cited in Bazzano, 2018).

Cultural attitudes toward gender diversity are far from unconditionally positive. It has been argued that the othering of trans people began with the medicalization of trans identities (MacKinnon, 2018). Transness has been pathologized in all iterations of the DSM (Withers, 2013), with cis people being seen as normative and healthy, and trans people categorized as psychologically unwell (MacKinnon, 2018). Medical intervention has focussed on the normalization of trans people, attempting to make them ‘pass’ as cis (MacKinnon, 2018). Whereas the person-centered approach has faith in the capacity individuals to self-determine and tend toward growth, the medical model infantilises trans people and views them as incapable of being trusted to be self-aware or make the right decisions (Hope, 2019). One of the most extreme manifestations of the belief that being trans is an illness is the prevalence of ‘conversion therapy’ (Turban, King, et al., 2019₁). ‘Conversion therapy’ is defined as any therapeutic approach that demonstrates an assumption that any sexual orientation or gender identity is ‘inherently preferable’ and which attempts to change or suppress a client’s sexual orientation or gender identity (BPS, Albany Trust, AFT, ACC, GLAD, BABCP, BACP, BADTH, BPC, Cliniq, cosrt, Gendered Intelligence, NCS, NHS England, NHS Scotland, Pink Therapy, PCU, Relate, RCGP, UKCP & RCPsych, 2019). LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall, 2018a found that one in five trans people have been pressured toward conversion therapy when seeking healthcare services. A Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy in the UK (MoU), signed by organizations including the NHS, British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy, UK Council for Psychotherapy and National Counseling Society, states that conversion therapy is ‘unethical and potentially harmful’ (BPS, Albany Trust, AFT, ACC, GLAD, BABCP, BACP, BADTH, BPC, Cliniq, cosrt, Gendered Intelligence, NCS, NHS England, NHS Scotland, Pink Therapy, PCU, Relate, RCGP, UKCP & RCPsych, 2019). Research has found exposure to conversion therapy is significantly associated with higher chances of psychological distress and suicide attempts in trans individuals (Turban, Beckwith, et al., 2019₂). The MoU also states the belief that being trans is not an indicator of a mental disorder (BPS, Albany Trust, AFT, ACC, GLAD, BABCP, BACP, BADTH, BPC, Cliniq, cosrt, Gendered Intelligence, NCS, NHS England, NHS Scotland, Pink Therapy, PCU, Relate, RCGP, UKCP & RCPsych, 2019), marking a dramatic shift away from decades of pathologisation of trans identities.

The legacy of pathologisation is ubiquitous in society, however, and can be seen in the widespread discrimination that trans people experience. A report by Stonewall (2018₂) found that trans people face discrimination at work, in higher education, in shops and restaurants and from healthcare professionals. Trans people have also reported discrimination in public bathrooms, religious communities and personal relationships (Moolchaem et al., 2015). They have been called ‘parasites’ in the House of Commons and are regularly the butt of mainstream comedy (Hope, 2019, p. 123). Trans representation in films is disproportionately small, with trans characters usually portrayed as dangerous or a ‘freak-show’ act (Hope, 2019, p. 123). News outlets regularly misgender trans people, and fearmongering and scape-goating is commonplace (Logie et al., 2019). 90% of trans people have at some time been told that they are ‘not normal’ (McNeil et al., 2012). In the UK, 41% of trans people were victim to a hate crime in 2017 (Stonewall, 2018b). In the year preceding the 2019 international Trans Day of Remembrance, 331 trans people were murdered (TransRespect, 2019). The culmination of this is ‘a profound effect on the development of the [trans] individual’, leading them to conclude ‘that their adult future lies somewhere between threat and ridicule’ (Livingstone, 2008, p. 139).

Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that when parts of the self are discriminated by others as being less worthy of positive regard, an individual becomes similarly selective with their self-regard. When a self-experience is then avoided because it is believed to be less worthy of self-regard, a condition of worth has developed. An individual, needing love, introjects societal attitudes to regulate themselves. Rogers (1959) proposed that individuals would therefore avoid experiences that are regarded negatively, even if they are organismically satisfying. The hegemonic negativity toward trans people may thus be internalized and an individual may seek to evade this aspect of their identity. Almas and Benestad (2009) wrote extensively on how trans people hide their gender identity because of a fear of negative consequences. They went so far as to say that hiding the true self is a traumatic experience (Almas and Benestad, 2009). This aligns with Rogers (1959) argument that incongruence is a source of distress. We have explored the transprejudice that leads to conditions of worth. We will now focus on the ways in which subsequent incongruence can manifest, and the impact this has upon the lives of trans people.

Incongruence and discrepancies in behavior: a loss of authenticity

Livingstone (2011, p. 139) reported that ‘the majority of [trans] people who undertake counselling arrive emotionally and psychologically bent under the weight of objectifying conditions of worth, received implicitly and explicitly from both immediate family and society as a whole’. Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that conditions of worth can lead to an individual becoming estranged from themselves, living as who others want them to be rather than their true self. It theorized that individuals either become selectively aware of experiences that contravene conditions of worth or deny them entirely. As such, these experiences stop being symbolized, and thus are no longer present in the self-structure. This results in an internal incongruence between their organismic experience and their self-concept. The theory therefore suggests that much of the incongruence a trans individual experiences may not be inherent to being trans, as is implied when the term ‘gender incongruence’ (MacKinnon, 2018) is usually used. Rather, it develops as a result of discrimination from others (Rogers, 1959). This is not to say that some trans people do not experience incongruence that comes from within and may still occur even in a vastly more trans-affirmative society. The sometimes-deep distress of body-related dysphoria has been described as internal and wholly separate from societal, external barriers to authenticity or self-acceptance (Sobańska & Smyczek, 2020). The intention of focussing on socially-rooted incongruence is not to minimize such experiences, but to broaden understanding beyond them being seen as the sole or central source of distress for trans people.

Returning to Rogerian incongruence, we can see that when trans individuals have denied their experiences entirely, it can take a long time for their gender identity to come into their awareness. A thematic analysis of trans experiences of coming out found that many participants had to first come out to themselves: this process often took many years (Lee, 2015). Participants had buried their transness after ‘recognising difference’, learning that ‘being different is wrong’ and perceiving ‘the need to hide’ (Lee, 2015). These themes closely align with Rogers (1959) concept of Conditions of Worth, providing support for the notion that external valuing has a large impact on the capacity for trans individuals to be authentic. One study found that the average age at which trans people began transition was 31 years (McNeil et al., 2012). Some transprejudiced campaigners argue that coming out as trans later in life implies that being trans is a lifestyle choice (Hope, 2019), however Rogers (1959) theory suggests that for many, the time taken is a result of the individual having to fight many deeply ingrained conditions of worth.

Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that as a result of internal incongruence, there is often also incongruence in an individual’s behavior. It theorized that some behavior is in line with the individual’s self-concept, meaning it is accurately symbolized in their awareness. For a trans person, this may be behavior that fits their assigned gender. Other behavior is a result of the organism actualizing parts of its experience that aren’t currently in the self-structure (Rogers, 1959). Such behavior can be confusing, as it doesn’t fit with the individual’s perception of themself. For trans people, this could be behavior that fits their true gender. In Lee’s (2015) thematic analysis, many participants spoke of secretly wearing clothing that was more congruent with their gender identity. Participants often had cycles of disposing of such clothes and then rebuying them. This is an example of Rogers (1959) proposed internal battle between an individual’s concept of self and their emergent self that is not yet fully symbolized.

As this incongruence comes into an individual’s awareness, it can become increasingly difficult to manage. In Lee’s (2015, p. 38) study into trans coming out, ‘both [participants] reached a point where their distress was so severe that they could no longer maintain their secrets, and they were compelled to tell someone’. Even at this point they did not accurately symbolize their transness, but rather they told their partners that they were occasional crossdressers (Lee, 2015), potentially to manage the tension between the need for positive regard and the need to be authentic. Hope (2019) spoke of an ongoing dilemma between the psychological tension of concealing one’s trans identity and the danger of being visible (Hope, 2019). The dangers of visibility aren’t just physical threats to safety, but also include the danger of losing friends, family, housing and jobs (Hope, 2019). As such, conditions of worth continue to play a dramatic role in shaping, and slowing, the coming out process of many trans people.

As well as external threats, Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that an internal threat is experienced when individuals become increasingly aware of a self-experience that is not integrated into the self-structure. It theorized that this occurs because the experience indicates that their self-concept isn’t the fullness of their identity, and that their sense of self at that time is someone who does not meet their internalized conditions of worth. The need for self-regard is great, meaning that the experience that violates an individual’s conditions of worth can cause much anxiety. Such conditions of worth lead to 40% of trans people adjusting the way they dress as a result of discrimination (Stonewall, 2018₂) and 67% of trans people trying to pass as cis to be accepted (McNeil et al., 2012). Often, a trans person showing any behavior in line with their assigned gender is interpreted as them not being sure about who they are, and this perceived uncertainty is used to undermine them (Hope, 2019). It is vital to understand that such behavior can be an attempt to resolve the great anxiety brought about by not living up to societal conditions of worth rather than an indication that an individual isn’t sure of their authentic self. (Note, in other cases, it is simply that the individual does not fit restrictive binary ideas of how to perform gender roles.) Hope (2019) expressed this excellently:

‘when we come out, transition, or articulate to a counsellor our true sense of self it will be constantly buffeted by internalised messages that are unlikely to be positive. Many trans people, in fact, deliberately seek out transprejudiced literature to try and contain their identity or force themselves to stay cis … often, such people struggle against a trans identity for many years as a result’. (p. 57)

This is a prime example of the defensive behavior that Rogers (1959) proposed an individual may undertake in an attempt to deny an experience that is threatening to their concept of self. Rogers (1959) believed that viewing such behavior as psychotic or neurotic entirely misses the cause of such behavior. Rather than being disordered, the individual is attempting to organize and integrate their true self in spite of conditions of worth that are calling on them to deny this identity.

Some anxiety can be a direct result of an individual’s self-structure being threatened rather than because of negative external valuing (Rogers, 1959). Rogers (1959) theorized that the level of anxiety is proportional to the extent to which the emergent self-experience threatens the concept of self. For many, being trans is for many a dramatic challenge to their self-concept, and as such a source of massive anxiety. This could be the reason that 77% of trans people who attend therapy seek it either pre-transition or before coming out (Hunt, 2014) at the point where their gender may feel most threatening to their self-concept. This is supported by findings that the most common reason trans people seek therapy is to reduce emotional discomfort (Rachlin, 2002). With Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality in mind, some of this emotional discomfort could be understood as being caused by the conflict between the authentic self and the conditions of worth and self-concept that it challenges. This stage of disorganization is arguably the most distressing for trans people. Their experience is accurately symbolized in their awareness, and yet they are still dramatically influenced by the conditions of worth they have developed over their lifetime. There is vast conflict between who they feel they are and who they feel they can be.

Rogers (1959) predicted that during this period the organism behaves in a disorganized manner, switching between being consistent with their self-concept and being consistent with their self-experience. One of the main transprejudiced arguments is that some trans people detransition and therefore transitioning is always the wrong choice (Hope, 2019). Rather than sharing Rogers (1980) view that humans are a process, those who vocally oppose trans people argue that they must be fixed in their identity, and that detransition is proof of a lack of certainty about who they are (Hope, 2019). For many, detransition can be seen in light of Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality as a manifestation of disorganization in the organism: an ongoing battle between who society says is of value and who they experience themself as. Detransition is often borne out of lack of safety and support (Hope, 2019). Some people detransition to try to save a relationship or protect their family (Hope, 2019). This is a clear example of a shift away from being consistent with the authentic self and back to being consistent with the self-concept and conditions of worth. In the words of one trans person, ‘I did not detransition because I wasn’t trans. I detransitioned because cisgender people physically and mentally beat me down until I gave in’ (Kanner, 2018). It is essential not to assert, however, that all people who detransition are moving further from their authentic selves. For some people, detransitioning is a shift toward congruence and this must be supported equally to transitioning as an outworking of the actualizing tendency. A trust in the individual as expert in themselves (Rogers, 1961) is key to understanding that the goal is not to try to direct an individual toward transition in a belief this will allow them to be more authentic, or away from detransition with a concern this symbolizes a move away from authenticity. As we saw at the opening of this paper, the most valuable thing any human can receive is unconditional freedom and prizing so they can move in any direction, with a trust that the direction they move in will be right for them. Our place is not to attempt to hurry along a gender questioning person toward a goal we see as helpful, such as them accepting that they are trans, just as much as we should not attempt to direct them away from the possibility that they are trans as is the case in ‘conversion therapy’. This said, it is essential to acknowledge the numerous instances in which detransition emerges from being overwhelmed by the obstacles to being one’s more authentic self. In such situations, detransition is a heartbreaking victory of conditions of worth over organismic experiencing.

It is clear there are many ways that transprejudice leads to incongruence for trans individuals. It could be that their trans identity becomes hidden from their awareness, often for many years. It may be that they struggle to accurately symbolize their trans identity for fear of losing partners or friends. Sometimes it manifests as an external regulation on the way a trans person dresses or behaves, often as an attempt to escape discrimination. For some, the incongruence is very much internal, and results in great anxiety as they become aware that who they truly are is different from who they thought they were. In some cases, conditions of worth can be so pervasive that individuals return to living as the gender they were assigned at birth so as to escape the distress that can be caused by living in a way that contravenes societal valuing of what is right or good. In many cases, however, there is at some point an integration of their trans identity into their self-concept, and greater congruence is found. We shall now explore this final stage of Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality.

Reintegration and congruence: return to authenticity

Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality proposed that for individuals to be able to move toward greater congruence, it is necessary for conditions of worth to decrease and unconditional self-regard to increase. It theorized that a common way of this being achieved is through an individual experiencing unconditional positive regard from another. Such prizing can dissolve conditions of worth. While prizing can often come from a therapist, this is not a necessity. Any social support can provide positive regard that disempowers conditions of worth. For example, in Lee’s (2015) study, participants progressed from feeling ‘I can be accepted by others’ to ‘I can accept myself’ (p. 43). These individuals did not attend therapy, but rather the acceptance of some friends and family was enough to then be introjected as acceptance of themselves. They developed what Rogers (1959, p. 231) termed an ‘organismic valuing process’, which is a return to an intrinsic locus of evaluation. Such a valuing process asks, ‘am I living in a way which is deeply satisfying to me, and which truly expresses me?’ (Rogers, 1961, p. 119). Lee’s (2015) participants expressed such attitudes, with one declaring ‘I am whatever and proud of it. My coming out to the world essentially means saying “Take it or leave it, here I am!”’ (p. 44).

Lee’s (2015) participants showed clear signs of shifts toward congruence as conceived in Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality. Their self-experience of being trans came fully into their awareness and was then integrated into their self-concept (Lee, 2015). There were no longer distortions in how they saw themselves, but rather they began living authentically (Lee, 2015). When trans people experience congruence with their gender, they sometimes talk of feeling ‘gender euphoria’ (Hope, 2019, p. 14). This term was coined as the antonym to the medical term ‘gender dysphoria’ which is used in the DSM (Hope, 2019). It means the ‘sense of fulfilment or joy that comes from living as the gender you feel yourself to be’ (Guardian, 2019). Such euphoria is polar opposite to the despair of not being oneself that Rogers (1961) spoke of. This perfectly encapsulates the way in which transness can, for many, be a growthful direction taken by an actualizing organism. As such, we should not fear that trans people are moving in a wrong direction, but instead celebrate all ways in which people may become more authentic and less bound by heavy conditions of worth.

In Lee’s (2015) study, the participants had many positive experiences after coming out as trans. These included making more social connections, having greater self-belief, and the need to hide being replaced with the need to be seen (Lee, 2015). Similarly, a study by Budge et al. (2013) found that trans individuals reported that the process of becoming congruent with their gender was the most positive and rewarding experience of their lives. All 18 participants expressed that ‘living as their “true selves” was worth all the emotional hardship endured throughout the process’ (Budge et al., 2013), reinforcing Rogers (1961) assertion that the greatest need and desire for all beings is to be authentic and that while uncomfortable, the process of moving toward congruence is deeply worthwhile.

In a study into trans identity formation, Eliason and Schope (2007) used the term ‘authenticity’ when talking about trans people shifting away from hiding their gender and toward accepting and expressing themselves fully. The study looked into many theories of trans identity formation, and while Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality was not covered, one thing all the theories had in common with Rogers’ was a focus on the final stage of experiencing joy when gaining increased congruence with one’s gender (Eliason & Schope, 2007). The euphoria people experience when they are authentic is not unique to trans people. Rogers (1961) wrote extensively about the process of becoming a more fully-functioning person and the satisfaction this brings. All individuals are fighting to move away from facades, from oughts and from pleasing others and toward being more wholly and truly themselves in all their complexity and as process-people (Rogers, 1961). What makes the joy of congruence that trans people experience particularly pertinent is the way it contradicts the societal narratives that being trans is wrong or disordered. Rather, being trans is a type of authenticity and flourishing that should be celebrated and respected.

It has been argued that more trans-positive discourses are needed to replace the plethora of medical discourses of trans experiences (Lysenko, 2009). For example, a meta-analysis of 31 qualitative studies into the lived experiences of trans people found 5 main themes – all of which were negative and focussed on trans struggles rather than trans flourishing (Moolchaem et al., 2015). It is certainly true that the lives of trans people are often exceptionally difficult, as has been explored in this paper. However, discourses that do not also cover the final stage of Rogers (1959) Theory of Personality by highlighting experiences of gender euphoria serve to reinforce the medical model’s narrative that being trans is disordered and a source of distress. Rogers (1959) theory reframes trans experiences and provides an insight that honors the struggles of being trans but also celebrates the joyful authenticity it can bring. Equally, it places responsibility for much of the distress trans people experience squarely in the hands of those who perpetuate transprejudice, rather than continuing the notion that it is an inherent part of being trans.

Conclusion

As this paper has explored, there are widespread negative attitudes toward trans people culturally. This discrimination is internalized as conditions of worth, and trans individuals try to regulate who they are so as to not contravene these conditions. They will often hide who they are from others and even from themselves so as to make themselves feel worthy of positive regard. This separation from the true self is a type of incongruence. As with any incongruence, the experience of unconditional prizing and empathic understanding from other people can be internalized as a more unconditional prizing and understanding of the self. When this occurs trans individuals are freed to be more authentic to themselves. This looks different for every trans person. Some find a change of name, or pronouns, or physical appearance makes them feel more congruent with their gender (Hope, 2019). For others, coming to a knowledge and acceptance of their gender identity brings all the congruence they need (ibid.). For many, the ways in which they express themselves and explore achieving a greater sense of congruence changes over time. However an individual moves toward congruence, greater authenticity can always be regarded as a positive thing.

This person-centered examination of trans experiences has two main implications. Firstly, it indicates the need for therapists to do all they can to provide a relationship which gives an individual great freedom, as it is in this freedom that authenticity emerges. Unconditional positive regard is a highly freeing condition to provide for individuals. As we have seen, it has the power to dissolve conditions of worth. It is important that the practitioner does not pursue self-acceptance, gender euphoria or authenticity for their client, however. These types of aspirations are directive and diminish freedom. While these outcomes appear in this paper to be positive and growthful, the orientation of the therapist must always steer clear of notions of, ‘how can I cure or change this person’ and ever focus on, ‘how can I provide a relationship which this person may use for [their] own personal growth?’ (Rogers, 1961, p. 32). Just as with any other client, the individual should be trusted as expert and their sense of self believed, even if that sense of self is transient. While we have explored how in some cases an unstable sense of one’s gender identity can be a result of conditions of worth, we must not conclude that all expressions of gender fluidity are such. This could erroneously pathologize the client’s most authentic gender identity, rather than show any person-centered understanding of what is going on for them.

Secondly, this paper demonstrates the need for widespread cultural change in attitudes toward trans people. Transprejudice is deeply damaging and leads people away from authenticity and toward the despair of not being true to themselves. Rogers (1980) wrote of a society that does not value any identities are more or less worthy of regard. In such a society there would be great freedom to be any of the vast, diverse identities that are open to the human experience. Rogers (1980, p. 339) called this the ‘world of tomorrow’ and acknowledged the work of the women’s rights, gay rights and black power movements toward bringing about such a society. The trans rights movement is another front on which the battle to bring about the world of tomorrow is now being waged, and the person-centered community must be actively engaged in this struggle (Griffin, 2011). In Britain especially, this struggle faces great opposition. The High Court has recently ruled against teenagers being able to access puberty blockers which buy invaluable thinking time for young people who think they may be trans (BBC, 2020). Gender neutral toilets are under government review after providing places of refuge to trans people for many years (Independent, 2020). The BBC regularly platform transprejudiced speakers in the name of ‘balance’ despite OfCom ruling that it is ‘extremely inappropriate’ (PinkNews, 2020). Yet, such ‘balance’ rarely extends to the BBC airing a single trans voice when discussing trans issues (PinkNews, 2021).

With trans people expressing that transphobia is on the rise in the UK (Huffington Post, 2021), as person-centered individuals we have a responsibility to be a remedy to this, not only in the therapy room, but as active and political members of society. To do this is to fight the root of the problem: the attitudes and behaviors that construct the conditions of worth that make it so difficult for trans individuals to come to know themselves and to prize themselves as they are. Rogers (1978, p. 290) wrote that an increasing number of person-centered individuals in society bring ‘new values and constitute a continuing and growing ferment of social change’. It is one thing understanding how best to work with trans clients, but it is another to commit to fighting alongside them to build a society where trans people do not need therapy to unravel the effects of stigma, discrimination and resulting conditions of worth because we have done the work to eradicate the stigma and discrimination that are causing such harm. If we are not a part of this ‘quiet revolution’ (ibid.), we are missing the power and the potential of our radical and restorative approach to the world. As we have explored trans people are not broken and do not need to change. What is broken and does need to change is our society that tells a trans person that they have to make a choice between being congruent or being valued. As freedom is the doula of authenticity, it is essential to be fighting all areas of trans oppression to continue to move us toward a world where we can all be that which we truly are.

A Note on Language

The language we use shapes our reality (Barnes et al., 1999), and is therefore of importance. I have used ‘trans’ to encompass ‘anyone who feels incongruence with the gender they were assigned into’ (Hope, 2019, p. 15). ‘Trans’ is the most inclusive term currently in use (Gendered Intelligence, 2018). I use the term to encompass all expressions of gender diversity, including those who are non-binary, agender, genderqueer, etcetera. That said, I acknowledge that not all gender diverse individuals identify with the term ‘trans’. ‘Cis’ refers to all non-trans individuals (Withers, 2013). ‘Transition’ is used to mean ‘the process of developing congruence with [one’s] gender’ (Hope, 2019, p. 220). ‘Transprejudice’ is used instead of ‘transphobia’ as it is seen as a ‘more helpful term to use when describing the actual discrimination that trans people experience’ (Burnes et al., 2010, p. 138). ‘Assigned gender’ means the gender a trans person is given at birth, as opposed to their ‘true gender’ (often simply ‘gender’), which is the gender that is most congruent for them in any given moment. Citations have been edited to be gender-neutral, indicated using square brackets. While singular ‘they/them/themself’ may be unfamiliar, it is grammatically correct and is not only gender neutral but also affirming of non-binary identities (Hope, 2019).

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Jay Crowter

Jay Crowter is a graduate psychologist who is currently reading Person-Centred Experiential Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice at Masters level at the University of Nottingham. They have conducted research in the field of mindfulness. They are also interested in Gender, Sexuality and Relationship Diversity, writing on the experiences of trans folk, sex workers and the Kink community.