When Family Narratives Conflict: An Autoethnography of My Mother’s Secrets

Abstract

This autoethnography about motherhood investigates secrets in my family which explain why my mother abandoned me when I was a baby. To make sense of long-term anger in my family and family stories which conflict, I use narrative theory and relational dialectics theory to reframe my identity. Moving back and forth through time using a “layered account,” I compare family stories with my memories and contrast my childhood perspective with my adult perspective. Using this method enables me to analyze interpersonal tensions and sociological issues as I explore the complexity of “truth” in family stories, provide insight into the dynamics of the forgiveness processes in family relationships, and problematize the cultural ideology of the “good” mother, particularly for mothers and children who live in poverty.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Mariaelena Bartesaghi, Carolyn Ellis, Art Bochner, Kristen Blinne, Jennifer Whalen, and two anonymous reviewers provided invaluable constructive criticism and encouragement as I developed this project. This article is dedicated to my mother.