“In My Heart for Eternity”: Normalizing Messages to the Deceased

Abstract

Despite an historical tendency among psychologists to pathologize continuing attachment to the deceased, scholars of grief have come to appreciate that maintaining a connection to the deceased can be a healthypart of bereavement. Using Fisher's perspective on narrative, data from The Compassionate Friends bulletin board were analyzed, both quantitatively and qualitatively, to unravel how messages to the deceased contribute to a healing story of bereavement. It is argued here that messages to the deceased can be healthy due to cathartic emotion expression and maintenance of a relationship that brings solace and meaning to the bereaved.