Abstract
This article is an exploration of the feeling state engendered in the art psychotherapist when working with a child who had been emotionally and sexually abused. It attempts to discover the meaning of what happened in a therapy when no verbal or thinking interaction could initially take place. It describes the difficulty of finding a way to articulate the fragmented information available, both to bring to consciousness the snippets of memory presented, and to structure them into an organised story.
Thinking appeared to be what the child was desperate to avoid. It was far too painful for her, so anger and abuse were used as a defence. Noise was produced during therapy, so that the artwork, the games and in particular the experience of projective identification could not be thought about. The noise often led to the art psychotherapist being silenced and also unable to think.
Countertransference feelings were communicated, including shame, hatred, love and fear. These were explored to help find meaning, which led to understanding that the child needed to experience attachment to a constant and non-retaliatory Other. This made the experience of both merging and separation from the therapist an enabling space in which to find symbol and thought.