“I Wanted Time to Myself and He Wanted to be Together All the Time”: Constructing Breakups as Managing Autonomy-Connection

Abstract

In the current study, we used a multiple case study method to analyze the dialectic of autonomy-connection in terminated romantic relationships. Eight heterosexual couples discussed their perceptions and management of “I” and “We” during their relationship. Later, they gave individual accounts of their subsequent breakups. We transcribed and analyzed the couple and individual interviews, comparing couples' management of autonomy-connection. Analysis showed two general patterns before relational termination: antagonistic struggles and non-antagonistic struggles. We further identified couples' praxis strategies, or responses to this contradiction. The analysis suggests that terminating romantic relationships have narrowly constrained responses to the inherent tension between autonomy and connection.

Keywords:

• Autonomy-Connection
• Interviews
• Praxis
• Relational Dialectics
• Relational Dissolution

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Erin Sahlstein

Erin Sahlstein (PhD, The University of Iowa, 2000) is an assistant professor of communication at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas, Las Vegas, NV 89154-4052. E-mail: [email protected].

Tim Dun

Tim Dun (PhD, The University of Iowa, 2001) is an assistant professor of communication at Brock University, St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada. E-mail: [email protected]