Towards social competence in verbal children with special needs‐The parent's dilemma

Abstract

This paper considers the universal human need to link with others through shared social experience. It discusses theoretical and practical issues involved when a young person, although articulate, is not skilful at perceiving feedback in social interactions, and the ongoing dilemma for parents trying to foster social independence. The nature of reciprocity is discussed in relation to play. From a contextual approach it is suggested that the early childhood sequence of play skills may be relevant to learning “self‐inclusion” at later developmental stages.

It is within the intimacy of the immediate family setting that the infant first learns how to gain a response from its mother, father, and other caregivers. The research of John Bowlby (1982) and Mary Ainsworth (1974) has given us insight into how attachment proceeds, from the neonate's early non‐discriminating responses, to somewhere between six to eight months, when the child shows an obvious preference for one person, often the mother.

Babies come equipped with reflexes designed to elicit nurturing behaviour from their parents and these interactions quickly become mutually‐reinforcing social patterns. With the cognitive attainment of “object permanence” as described by Piaget (1958), the growing child begins to understand that mother does indeed exist, even when out of sight, and will return. Once the infant is mobile we can tell when attachment has developed by the child's proximity seeking, and by protest behaviour, such as crying, upon separation. In Ainsworth's theory it is from a secure emotional base that the infant is able to investigate its environment, and it is to this secure parental haven that the child returns after exploratory risk‐taking, both social and physical. Though developmental milestones may be delayed in special needs children, there is no reason to suppose that the attachment process involved is qualitatively different.