The ‘problem’ of sexual fantasies

Abstract

This essay explores the nature and implications of sexual fantasies. The essay begins from the apparent paradox that while it is frequently condemned for its absolute explicitness (‘leaving nothing to the imagination’) it is at the same time condemned for arousing ‘uncontrollable fantasies’. Several strands of theorization are reviewed, attending in particular to their shared assumption that such fantasies are essentially compensatory – making up for either stored-up problems from childhood or signs of inadequacy in a person's sexual maturation. Challenging these accounts, the essay draws on evidence from a major investigation into the meanings and pleasures of pornography conducted in 2011, which garnered more than 5000 responses to a complex online questionnaire combining quantitative and qualitative questions. Ten motivations for using and enjoying sexual fantasies are distinguished, within which five distinct ways of understanding the relations between pornography and fantasy are outlined: as magnifying glass, as mirror to self, as emporium, as journey, and as alternative self. These are understood as productive of new sexual possibilities.

Keywords:

• sexual fantasy
• porn research project
• paradox of explicitness
• body genres

Notes

1. The very notion of a ‘rapid’ assessment is of course that this topic is so suddenly urgent, so new and expanding, that we cannot wait for reflection. Actually, rapidity is the last thing needed right now; rather, we could badly do with some self-critical thinking about the state and status of evidence and understanding.

2. See Smith (2010) and the various blogs at http://www.onscenity.org/sexualization/.

3. Controversy in Cannes as top honour awarded to film with lesbian sex scenes ‘that leave nothing to the imagination’ (Baginboye 2013). And of course porn sites themselves will publicize this as a promise – see, for instance, ‘with her legs spread wide she leaves nothing to the imagination’ (www.xvideos.com/).

4. See as an instance ‘Andrea Lowell Leaves Nothing To Your Imagination’ (YouTube, January 20, 2007) or ‘Taylor Armstrong's Tiny Bikini Leaves Literally Nothing to the Imagination’ (June 12, 2013; http://thestir.cafemom.com/beauty_style/156844/taylor_armstrongs_tiny_bikini_leaves).

5. As examples: New Statesman writer Glosswitch (2013), ‘I don't think rape fantasies excuse the proliferation of uncontextualized rape photographs that can be found online. There – confronted with real bodies in real positions – I don't see how it's possible to tell the difference between fantasy and reality’; Wendy Maltz (2010), ‘The consensus was that pornography became a problem only when the viewer couldn't distinguish between fantasy sex and real sex (believing, for example, that women enjoy being raped), or was using it in ways that endangered children (leaving it out where it could be seen), or harmed trust in an intimate relationship (pressuring a partner to do something he/she didn't want to do)’; and Deborah Orr (2011), ‘Sexual fantasy and sexual reality are not the same thing’.

6. See also Brett Kahr (2009) for another major study that shares a good number of Bader's tendencies.

7. See, for instance, Ellis and Symons (1990).

8. Friday has continued her work in this area over a series of books – including Women on Top (Friday 1993), which pointed to changes in the nature of women's fantasies over a generation; and Beyond My Control (Friday 2009), which presents an outright celebration of women's wildest orgiastic fantasies. For more recent work with the same orientation, see Boss and Maltz (2008).

9. A recent American study raised the bar even higher with evidence that as many as 62% of women had experienced rape fantasies (see Bivona and Critelli 2009).

10. This research received funding support for its technical operations from Sunderland University, to whom we offer our thanks.

11. A recent study of people's motives for using Twitter put this point well: ‘While we can neither quantify … nor account for all …, the responses we received provide valuable insight …’ (Marwick and boyd 2010, 5).

12. Language is indeed key here. Recent work in psychology has recast ‘fantasy’ as ‘counter-factual thinking’ – that is, the ability to think the world in ways that transcend how it is currently being experienced. Interesting work is being done on the benefits for people with high counter-factual thinking in, for instance, handling stress, and the disadvantages for low counter-factual thinking individuals when unpredictable events occur. See, for instance, Bacon, Walsh, and Martin (2013).

13. It is tempting to propose a relationship between Chivers' findings and those of a curious study of differences in the nature of male and female sexual fantasies, carried out (inevitably) on American college students. McCauley and Swann (1978) investigated male and female reported fantasies during both heterosexual sex and during masturbation. They summarize what they see as a clear emergent pattern: ‘Males are thinking more about sexual activities they are experiencing or have experienced, while females are thinking more about sexual activities they have never experienced’ (1978, 76).

14. It would be misleading to see this as specifically American, even if it is strongest there. A UK Guardian feature on Chivers' research could not resist constructing alternative Just-so stories to the standard socio-biological explanations of ‘female purity’ and ‘male lust’ (Williams 2013).