Dead Inside

ABSTRACT

This paper describes an intersubjective journey between an analyst and her patient, a woman beset by a lifelong fear that she is actually a robot, not a human being. Alienated from the human world, the woman sustained her sense of self by creating emotional ties to fantasy selfobjects. The patient is saved by these ties and undone by them too. On the one hand, these connections carry her striving for health and stability. On the other, they shield her from what she most longs for—the warmth of a human heart. Interactions between her and her analyst reveal the grip of a powerful unconscious organizing principle: She must cleanse herself of feelings and serve the master. Claiming her place as a human among humans rests on her liberation from this horrifying belief.

KEYWORDS:

• Defensive self ideal
• fantasy selfobjects
• relational trauma
• robot
• unconscious organizing principal

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Laura D’Angelo

Laura D’Angelo, MDiv LP, is a psychoanalyst in New York City who works with individuals, couples and groups. She is a faculty member and supervisor at the Training and Research in Intersubjective Self Psychology (TRISP), National Psychological Association for Psychoanalysis (NPAP), and the Harlem Family Institute (HFI). She is a writer with credits in national magazines, newspapers as well as academic journals. She is a contributing author to Intersubjective Self Psychology: A Primer that was published by Routledge in 2019.