The summer break, when most college counselors slow down (or may even be on vacation), offers relief from a busy and emotionally taxing line of work. The break is a healthy time to get away from the work mentally, reflect on the year that was, and prepare for the next year. Only a few weeks ago, we were in the middle of stretching our services to the limit yet again, likely undermining promises that this would be the year we better maintain our shape and boundaries. Inevitably though, “being there” means dealing with a few more surprises through the year, a few more crisis situations we’d never planned for, and of course the new ways we fit (more like squeezed) “a few more” students into our services. There may still be signs of the wear and tear of stretching our boundaries as a counseling center to the needs of administration, parents, students, and our own sense of responsibility. So, as we begin to contract back to our normal structure as a counseling center, now is a good time to think about how we can better maintain our boundaries (or at least try to) for the next upcoming storm.
The challenges of maintaining the boundaries and integrity of our service can take a variety of forms, i.e., working more frequently with certain students, ignoring certain departmental policies about which students to see, breaking confidentiality to provide “just a little bit” of information, and so forth. They almost always reflect the good intention of others and are generally seen as being in the best interest of the student. Yet, they also undoubtedly create strain among directors and counselors, who weigh what it would mean to go along with an unusual request against what it would mean to “hold the line.”
The case for “being flexible”
On the one hand, we have a desire to “be flexible.” Doing so generates good will on campus, by being amenable to working with others and by being sensitive to the unique demands and needs of both students and administrators that may arise during the course of the year. Moreover, there are times when deviating from our normal ways of functioning may be necessary and important. Students who, for example, are nearing graduation sometimes need just a bit more of us to contain their feelings of anxiety and sadness as they begin to detach. Similarly, they may be acting out fears of leaving or feelings of anger related to what they did not get from their college or university. Meeting these students with an open mind and more flexible policies reflects the institutional need for these students to graduate and the students’ reality that things are “up in the air” for them. We may also find ourselves moving our boundaries a little for academic challenges, underprivileged students, first-generation college students, or crises that may unfold in unique ways in the college environment (i.e., plagiarism, sexual assault, issues related to fraternity or sorority life, etc.). Also, if we are honest with ourselves, we find ourselves flexing at times due to the political nature of a particular concern, such as high-profile parents or a campus culture that prioritizes athletics.
The risks of flexibility
Yet, “being too flexible” can also expose our services to risks. If we bend too much or take on students inappropriate to our services, we run the real chance of having our service turn into something it is not meant to be. For instance, we may be pressured at the end of the semester into working with a student we have not accepted as a client but who is experiencing a lot of intense distress. Often, the source of this distress is complicated, resulting from compounding academic, social, and familial issues. Perhaps the student feels ashamed about his or her grades, has become increasingly depressed, avoidant, and despondent, and is terrified of not passing. Having met with their professors and deans recently, students come to us to “fix” their depressed mood, so they can get to the business of working. However, in this case, our chances of figuring out the situation and how to best intervene are limited by time and already strained resources. We might suggest that we cannot meet their needs in terms of frequency of meetings or intensity of treatment. So, we could recommend a leave of absence to receive psychiatric care (i.e., inpatient or partial hospitalization), which might mean losing a lot of work and effort. It is a frustrating situation all around. And yet, trying to see them more, but not enough, can be dangerous. The student may open up but not have the resources to do so in a safe way, initiating further decompensation.
The case for “holding the line”
Here, holding the line by “saying no” puts us up to being “the bad guys” who are not willing to gratify the needs of the institution or others. While safety is always paramount, the pressure to just get students to the end and through a course or difficult interpersonal situation until they can go home can obfuscate this. Having clear policies of what we can and cannot do, which we can fall back on, may be one way of dealing with the discouragement of recognizing that we cannot possibly meet all the needs of students. For instance, in the case above, maintaining a firm position about the need for time off and a psychiatric hospitalization exposes us to the wrath of that student, their family, and administrators who may get dragged in. Yet, it also protects us from working with a student who we may not be able to help and who may in fact decompensate further while in our care. While we can only rarely necessitate treatment, being clear about what we consider “in their best interests” is crucial. This involves recognizing that there are times and situations that arise where we will fail to provide students what they need. Being reminded that our failure is not intentional, but instead structural, i.e., that our service is not meant to provide for all cases, can help ease that anxiety.
Moreover, in our roles we may be in a unique position to help consult with concerned parties so that they may better understand the anxiety that is pushing them from thoughtful consideration to action. Returning to the earlier example, talking with this student’s parents in consultation may help them recognize the psychological stress their child is under and enable them to be supportive as their child receives treatment. Being able to work with others (parents, deans, coaches, teachers, and so forth) to articulate their worry about a student or situation may help us and them grapple with the underlying dynamics that are at play and to come up with a solution together. This respects both the need to help the student and also the important boundaries that protect a service.
The risks of holding the line
Problematically, there are no guarantees that a student who goes to a hospital, seeks other forms of treatment, or returns home will in fact benefit from these interventions. It is often the case that home is the source of stress and anxiety, which may be underlying the student’s maladaptive behavior in the first place. Furthermore, for many students, being at home prevents them from accessing necessary services, due to either a lack of providers or the stigma faced about mental health issues. In this respect, even hospitalizations and intensive treatments may fail to adequately address the student’s needs. They may in fact be better served at the college counseling center, in spite of the risks treatment entails.
Holding the tension: A thoughtful stance
Holding the space, to both be flexible and also hold the line is clearly a significant challenge. It requires having both policies we adhere to and communicate clearly and consistently with our staff and administrators and also the freedom to deviate from them when we feel we need to. This stance is hard work for us as counselors and administrators. It requires a willingness to frustrate others who we also must work with in an ongoing way throughout the year. We need the support of our colleagues during these difficult interventions. And, to that end, it would be important to discuss and process these boundaries with our staff, our VP of Student Affairs (or applicable supervisor), and other parties that we typically work with on campus. It is important to make some of these policies transparent and accessible, perhaps on our website or during student/parent orientations.
The ability to set limits about what we can and cannot do is crucial. While being able to tolerate these feelings can be hard, it is, we think, precisely when we need to be most mindful. So enjoy these last weeks of summer and use the time to plan for the next set of challenges that stretch the boundaries of our services.