Communicating Disappointment: The Viewpoint of Sons and Daughters

Abstract

Despite the voluminous literature on general parenting strategies, there seems to be little systematic examination of the social psychological and communicative aspects of parental disappointment. This study examines parental strategies for communicating disappointment from the point of view of sons and daughters and develops a typology. A sample of 377 undergraduates completed questionnaires about their parents' strategies for communicating disappointment, the types of reasons attributed for parental disappointment messages, and their personal sense of control. Results indicate that although parents are reported to be generally verbally direct in their expression of disappointment, mothers were reported using indirect verbal criticism and relying on nonverbal cues more often than fathers to communicate their disappointment. For both parents, the greater the use of indirect criticism, the more likely the child would report feeling out of control of his or her life. The links among indirect parental verbal criticism, parental disappointment, and child outcomes are discussed and a typology of parental disappointments are provided.