Students We Don't Refer:

Abstract

Students search at college for a sense of personal specialness and for "new soIutions" emotional concerns. Colleges often encourage an expectation of this in their marketing phrases a d in their orientation programs. Students are inevitably disappointed as they learn that tbe college cannot really be their new family and that "old soliutions" are recalcitrant. Some students weather this disappointment and turn it to their advantage for personal growth. For many "relationally fragile" students this is not possible without psychotherapeutic help. Old emotional wounds when opened overwhelm them, and for a variety of reasons, we propose that referring these students for private treatment is not appropriate. We discuss some of the issues involved in working with these students. We especially focus on the difficulties in hearing and responding to their anger and fears sf being destructive. Numerous clinical examples are included.