Deromanticizing Anticipated Death

Abstract

Interviews from a community study of 30 bereaved spouses were used to explore the extent to which spouses take advantage of their partner's terminal illness for cognitive, emotional, practical, and interpersonal accommodation to impending death. Emphasis is placed on the strains of terminal illness, including ruptures in spousal intimacy, separation anxiety, the undermining of the world as a safe place, and the traumatic helplessness of watching a loved one die. In contrast to the literature on anticipatory grief, which emphasizes the advantages of forewarning in cushioning postmortem adjustment, the authors found that terminal illness presents spouses with stressors that outweigh the benefits of, and often preclude the undertaking of, anticipatory tasks.

Key Words:

• Anticipated death
• anticipatory grief
• bereavement
• traumatic stress