ABSTRACT
This personal narrative describes the reactions of a “butch” lesbian to notions of “beauty.” I grew up in a Southern culture that glorifies strength, courage, and honor for males and beauty, care-taking, and passivity for females. My interests and activities in childhood were almost exclusively masculine. Beauty was of little importance to me except as a characteristic of the desired other. Through adolescence and young adulthood I felt alienated, confused, and conflicted about sexuality, gender, and beauty. I lived my personal and professional lives independently of each other. As I grew older and as social attitudes changed, I eventually began to incorporate and integrate a more complete and complex sense of being.