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MOVING COSTS: CHALLENGES OF (RE) DEFINING OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND DEALING WITH UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Daring to Take the Risk

Pages 57-72 | Published online: 05 Oct 2008
 

Abstract

This story stretches over a period of 21 years. It encompasses a range of interactions that include being friends, lovers, ex-lovers, and lovers again. The two women first met at college in the 1970s-Adrienne was 28, a student, single without any children, and Myra was 47, a lecturer, married with two adult sons. Today they live in Adelaide, South Australia. The catalyst that changed their lives was a ten-day walk when Myra was brave enough to talk about her feelings for Adrienne. The two years they were together wasan exciting and wonderful time for them both. But tensions within the relationship existed and reached crisis point when Adrienne had a relationship with another woman. They broke up then, and it took ten years before they decided to revisit their breakup by sitting down at a computer and working through some of the incidents, emotions, and barriers that had caused their feelings of anger, despair, alienation, and hope over this time. Although this ‘work’ on the computer was a breakthrough for both of them, it was still hard to meet and be comfortable with each other. It took another eight years to reestablish their relationship- first as friends and then as lovers.

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