Making the Transition

Abstract

The extant literature regarding relationships is examined in light of the common tendency for lesbians to remain friends after their partnerships dissolve. Through a consideration of such factors as group identity, gender socialization and sexual socialization, it can be argued that lesbian relationships, in comparison with other romantic relational dyads, have unique qualities that lend themselves to the maintaining of close ties with ex-lovers. Indeed, in a context of heterosexism, lesbians may rely strongly on relations among peers that intimately understand gay life, and thus they are more motivated to apply patience and loyalty to maintain the relationships they have already cultivated and deeply invested in. By sharing a common history of struggle, lesbians learn that the value of their relationships is predicated by the investment that this struggle generates. While lesbians may have to yield a portion of their autonomy in order to maintain these relationships, the benefits far exceed the losses.

Key Words:

• Lesbian
• relationship
• ex-lover
• gender
• identity
• friendship