ABSTRACT
Gender socialization causes “normative traumatization” in many men, who live with dissociated ego states that interfere with intimacy, and/or with their work lives. The “new psychology of men” outlines the traumatic etiology: (a) small boys are pushed to sharply disidentify with their mothers; (b) this trauma is repressed due to shame; (c) many boys are further traumatized by insufficient fathering. This paper expands on this explanation, arguing that it is important to add dissociationto our clinical understanding. Case examples show how trauma, attachment and gender theories, combined with appropriate therapeutic techniques, significantly enhance the progress these men are able to make in treatment.