The Hiding and Revelation of Sexual Desire in Lesbians

Abstract

This paper examines the relationship between fears of rejection and abandonment and feelings of secrecy, hiding and shame about sexual desires in lesbian women. A case report of the emergence of heterosexual feelings in a lesbian woman in the context of a disruption in attachment within her long-term lesbian relationship is contrasted with countertransference concerns about rejection during the analysis of a heterosexual woman by the author. The adolescent experiences of rejection related to the revelation of homosexual feelings that set the stage for these adult concerns are outlined. The conclusion that gay men and lesbians are particularly vulnerable to feeling that their sexual desires are secret, bad and shameful and therefore must be hidden is explored.

Key Words:

• Transference
• countertransference
• psychoanalysis
• psychotherapy
• self-revelation
• homosexuality
• lesbianism