The Maltese cactus: an autoethnography of the colonization of desire

ABSTRACT

This article presents an autoethnographic account of an encounter between two men – a Mexican scholar and a British artist – who met in Malta, to examine how post-colonialism influences the seemingly personal experience of erotic desire. The author, a man of indigenous descent, explores how his erotic attraction interweaved with powerful dynamics that were the product of the other man’s European cultural background. He problematizes this attraction by reflecting on the white ethnocentrism that colored his partner-seeking process. This autoethnography analyzes how European colonialism in Mexico affected not only language and religion, but also the deceivingly intimate aspect of erotic desire.

KEYWORDS:

• Whiteness
• language
• British
• Mexican
• Latino
• gay
• indigenous
• post-colonialism

Acknowledgements

The author thanks Seamus Prior, Jonathan Wyatt, Mirjam Eiswirth, Albert Anderson, Craig Gingrich-Philbrook, and the anonymous reviewers for their feedback, suggestions on relevant literature, and critical views on this essay. Finally, the author thanks the musician who inspired this paper.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.

ORCID

Edgar Rodríguez-Dorans http://orcid.org/0000-0003-3863-9646

Notes

1. Pseudonym

2. Richard was contacted about the intention of publishing this article at an early stage of the writing and gave his consent to pursue its publication.

3. Richard read a previous version of this manuscript and suggested adding this episode not originally included in the piece. The author agreed that the suggested content, which featured another representation of the cactuses, would be an important contribution.