Extra-dyadic sexual fantasies involving idealized figures and regard for current partners

Abstract

People in committed relationships may have idealized extra-dyadic sexual fantasies which involve someone other, and with greater desired attributes, than their current romantic partner. Using data from a national sample of Americans in committed relationships (N = 1108), we explored how the presence of two such fantasies – those involving strangers and/or former romantic partners – affected regard for one’s actual partner. Idealized extra-dyadic fantasies preserved partner regard in the low-sexual satisfaction condition but eroded partner regard among respondents reporting higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Noting this conditional relationship, we consider therapeutic uses of idealized extra-dyadic fantasies within couples therapy that avoid inadvertently eroding partner regard. This approach mainly consists of reorienting couples to each other and to the partner attributes that initially brought them together.

Keywords:

• Sexual fantasies
• partner regard
• idealization
• sexual satisfaction
• couples therapy

Acknowledgments

I would like to acknowledge the expert guidance of the reviewers as well as the journal’s editor (Dr. Markie Twist) and staff.

Replication/data access

AARP datasets may be downloaded through Roper Center at https://ropercenter.cornell.edu/aarp

Disclosure statement

We have no conflicts of interest or sources of external funding to disclose. Views expressed herein reflect those of the author and not necessarily those of AARP.

Additional information

Notes on contributors

G. Rainville

G. Rainville is Senior Research Advisor chiefly interested in cognitive framing and health outcomes.