Discussion, Part II: Psychoanalytic Reflections on the Impact of Separation and Divorce: High-Conflict Parents and Their Children: The Inside Story

ABSTRACT

In Part II of his discussion, Straus turns his attention to high- and very high-conflict separation and divorce cases. He points out that it would be extremely difficult for these parents to emotionally support an analytic treatment for their child. He gives the inside story of how these parents, once at least “good enough,” can now barely parent at all, and describes the evolution of their personal destruction and harm to their children. He speaks to what the childhood experience now becomes for the child of high-conflict parents. Straus also illustrates with personal examples the raw feelings, such as anger and hate, that get stimulated for the professional who engages with these families in this very challenging and heart-wrenching work.

KEYWORDS:

• Treating children
• adults of divorce

Notes

1. “In sum, using different measures (legal conflict, hostility, and conflicted co-parenting), Maccoby and Mnookin’s data indicated that one quarter of divorces were highly conflicted at an average of three and one-half years after the separation, by which time almost all couples had obtained their final decree” (Johnston 1994).

Additional information

Notes on contributors

Robert B. Straus

Robert B. Straus, DMH, JD is a psychologist in private practice primarily with couples in Cambridge, Massachusetts. From 1982 to 1988, he was Senior Psychologist at the Family Service Clinic of the Middlesex Probate and Family Court, performing custody and access evaluations. He then continued to do evaluations for a number of years as a guardian ad litem. In 1991, Dr. Straus formed Meeting Place: Supervised Child Access Service, and was later a founder and President of the Supervised Visitation Network. Dr. Straus continues as a couple’s therapist, and has founded the New Child Project, dedicated to supporting and educating couples in the transition to parenthood. He is also a member of the Massachusetts Psychological Association, California Psychological Association, and American Psychological Association.